As a proudly self-proclaimed they-at-home-mom — a non-binary parent whose pronouns are she/they — my experiences from pregnancy to today have been an interesting, sometimes frustrating, journey. Every parenting book I’ve read, class I’ve attended, and doctors office I’ve visited associates parenting and pregnancy with “women who were made for this,” and traditional narratives of pregnancy, postpartum, and beyond tend to do the same outside of those spaces. From mommy-and-me classes to maternity clothes, health services for pregnant women to birthing guides with exclusive language, the world of parenthood and expecting parents remains heavily influenced by the gender binary.
But people of all gender identities, and even people who don’t identity with a gender at all, are capable of be becoming parents. The problem, of course, is that most parenting spaces do not respect this reality. So, for non-binary parents navigating pregnancy, birth, and life with children, it can be difficult to find spaces where you belong and support networks that are gender-affirming.
Please, take a moment to remember that non-binary parents exist. Some non-binary parents even use traditional words like “mom” and “dad” or “she” and “him” to describe themselves, and some don’t. Either way, our identities aren’t something to be figured out or debated. Our identities are something to be recognized, humanized, and taken seriously. And while we are not a monolithic group and do not all need the same things, I think a great way to start supporting non-binary parents is to make sure we're getting the following things: