Being a mother is one of the toughest things I've ever done. It’s foregoing everything from meals to outings to vanity and sleep, working long hours and never taking a sick day. Sure, we have Mother’s Day to get a little acknowledgement, but that’s for all mamas and mama-figures. What about the new moms, though? The ones who aren’t sure they're doing parenting "right"? How often do we thank them for the hard work they’re putting in? Honestly, there are some things you should thank a new mom for, because you know they sure could use the kind words.
I know that my first days, weeks, and even months as a new mom were difficult and rarely included a "thank you." Babies don’t exactly learn how to write their mothers thank you cards or give them hugs and kisses. So, in the middle of all those diaper changes and feedings and nap schedules and late-nights and every other exhausting aspect of motherhood, it’s sometimes difficult to gauge how well you’re doing, or to ever get any of that encouragement we so often need and crave.
I was fortunate that my husband would often say a simple,“thank you" and usually when he realized I needed it the most. You know, phrases like, “You’re doing a good job,” and “yYou’re a good mother,” really did go a long way back then. Hell, they go a long way even now, years later. But in case you’re trying to figure out why you should be taking the time to stop and thank a new mom, here's a few talking points for you, because a little acknowledgment and encouragement can make all the difference.
She's Keeping The Human Race Going
This may seem silly to some, but it’s actually a fairly valid point. If we don’t have babies, the human race would eventually cease to be. Hasn’t anyone watched The Handmaid’s Tale? While I certainly don’t advocate for handmaids, I think it’s important that someone have babies (if and/or when they want to and choose to), whether it’s me or someone else.
She Changes Diapers Constantly
OK, so you would hope parents would just change their baby’s diapers out of the love of their hearts, right? After the millionth or so time of wiping a butt, however, it gets to be a little (read: very) old. While it’s not something most folks will thank a new mom for, if you happen to gift diapers at a baby shower, consider writing down a little word of encouragement for the new mom. You just know she is going to end up using more than a few of those in the middle of the night, and a lot of poop is going to be involved.
She Decided Not To Talk To You About Her Placenta...
Alright, while I totally get why people are all about the placenta, and baby-stuff shouldn’t be stigmatized, it’s just not really for me. So if you’re a new mom (or about to be) and you happen to decide not to talk about this topic, I may just thank you. Hey, some of us can't help it if we're squeamish.
... Or Because She Educated You About The Placenta
On the other hand, I am all about breaking taboos. While I probably don’t personally want to hear every detail of a placenta encapsulation or someone's best placenta-shake recipe, or whatever someone can do with the extra organ they grew up in their body, someone else out there probably does. If that’s you, make sure to thank the mom who shared these details.
She Breastfeeds Publicly
Many new moms feel a bit self-conscious about taking their breastfeeding public, so it’s certainly helpful when they see others doing it. It can be inspiring and motivating and since it's such a "taboo" decision, it's nothing short of brave.
She Feeds Her Baby A Bottle Publicly
There’s a lot of pressure that comes with new motherhood. Among that is the pressure to breastfeed. While I believe every mom should do what makes her comfortable, I think that ones who choose to whip out a bottle publicly deserve just as much praise as those moms who breastfeed in front of strangers. There should absolutely be zero shame attached to where, when, and how you feed your baby. Regardless.
She Comforts Her Baby When They Cry
Some days you want to cuddle your baby every time they cry and make them feel better. Other days, however, you just don’t know how you’ll handle it. Thank a new mom for always tending to her baby. They’re stressed as is and could certainly use the reminder.
She's Loosing Sleep So You Don't Have To
Whether you’re living in a house with a newborn, or sharing the same apartment floor, you’re going to want to thank a mom for staying up with her little one so the rest of us can, you know, sleep. This goes double to partners who perhaps work outside the home and may need a little extra sleep. You can never thank someone enough for letting you sleep — something I don’t think many of us understand the importance of until we become moms ourselves.