9 Ways Being Raised By A Sex Positive Mom Makes You Awesome At Life
If you frequent the feminist side of the internet (god-speed), chances are you've heard the term "sex positive" discussed on a regular basis. You may also catch yourself wondering what sex positive even means, and what it means to be raised by a sex positive mom. I mean, honestly, what is sex positive? What does it mean to be a sex positive mom? What does life mean, in general? (Okay, please don't answer that last question because, really and truly, no one wants and/or is ready for the answer.) I suspect this entire sex positive movement is much simpler and probably less sexy than many people would like to imagine. Sex positive doesn't mean that you're running off to participate in as many orgies as you can with as many people as you can (although, if you are, that's cool too). Instead, it simply means that, as long as everyone involved in a sex act is willing, safe, and having a good time, then it's good to go and the "going" is amazing. Which is why it should come as no surprise that sex positive moms raise kids who are awesome at life.
"But how?!" some of you might say. "You can't talk about S-E-X with children!" Well, I would counter that statement with the fact not only are there lots of ways you can lay the groundwork to discuss sex with children at an age appropriate time. Furthermore, sex positive moms realize that their children are very quickly going to become adults and that while they don't want to push them to grow up to quickly, they still need to equip them with necessary knowledge so they'll become an informed and well-adjusted (hopefully) adult. We only get our proverbial mitts on our children for a little while before we have to send them off into the world and let them figure their own stuff out, and there are some things they shouldn't have to figure out on their own (or by, potentially dangerous, trial and error). A lot of this stuff can and should be explained to them by their parents.
Which is why children who were raised by sex positive moms often have a leg up in life in these nine totally awesome ways, and they use that leg to kick ass.
They're Not Ashamed Of Their Bodies
You can't have sex positivity without body positivity! Obviously moms aren't the sole influence in a child's life, and other family members, school friends, teachers, coaches, boyfriends/girlfriends and media are going to be influential in how they see themselves. This means, unfortunately, any number of those people can eff up all your beautiful sex/body positive plans. A sex positive mom is going to be hyper aware of the additional influences that could (and probably will) shape her child in some way, and work tirelessly to instill a foundation of body positivity that is unwavering. We may not be able to control what the media or our culture tell our children, but we can control what we tell them, and hopefully that will be enough to remind them that their bodies are always wonderful and worthy of love.
They're Not Ashamed Of Their Sexuality
Sex positive mom don't believe that sex is somehow tied to morality, and they instill that belief in their children. There's no "right way" to have sex; no set of standards with which to measure and judge what everyone else is or isn't doing. So that means married sex, unmarried sex, abstaining from sex, sex between two people of the same gender: it's all just sex (or not, I guess, in the case of abstinence). Remember: "good sex" is sex that is consensual, safe, and fun.
In General, They're Kind Of Hard To Shame At All
I mean, honestly, all these shame rules are just weird made up nonsense designed to keep people down and hurt a particular person or group of people.
They Know How To Protect Themselves And Their Partners
Remember how safety was one of the very few components involved in defining "appropriate"? Here's where it comes into play. Being raised by a sex positive mom means someone has had it drilled into their heads (from an early age) that safe sex is non-negotiable.
They Know All About The Importance Of Consent
Sex positive moms taught their kids about consent long before they even started talking to them about sex. It's the very basic concept of "if someone isn't having fun you have to stop." So they grow up to be people who respect boundaries (in and out of the bedroom) and actively want to know that whoever they're with feels comfortable and safe and respected.
They Can Be Adults When Discussing Anatomy (Even Before They're Even Adults)
Because there's nothing wrong with the word "testicles" or the word "vagina" or any word that describes a body part our culture has deemed "dirty" or "inappropriate" or, for lack of a better word, "shameful". When you grow up hearing and using the correct language for parts of the human body, you don't grow up to blush as you whisper the word "coochie" to describe your vagina.
They Are Not Afraid To Seek Information
Because sex positive moms have no problem making sex, safety, or body talk subjects of discussion, their children aren't afraid to ask a question when they don't know something or to join in that discussion when they want to learn more about something. And as they say on Sesame Street "Asking questions is a good way of finding things out!"
They're Almost Certainly Going To Be A Lifelong Feminist
Because one cannot preach the idea that all bodies deserve respect and remove concepts like "moral worthiness" from sex, without being at least a little bit feminist.
Their Partners Are Going To Benefit From All That Awesome
Sex positive moms raise confident, respectful, thoughtful children who grow up to be the kind of adults that everyone wants to take home to their own (hopefully also sex positive) mom.