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Beyonce Twin Birth Illuminati Theories, Because People Are Absolutely Ridiculous

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Look, I know that most of us are super excited about the reported arrival of Beyoncé's twins. I know we're all looking forward to learning their names and finding out their sex and birth date. I know we're all eagerly waiting for them to team up with Amal Clooney's progeny to cure cancer and solve global warming and possibly even create a pill that would eliminate the human need to defecate, and that we all can't wait to celebrate their birth. But while this might sound hard to believe, some people are actually using this blessed event as an opportunity to propagate their bizarre conspiracy theories. Which is why the internet is currently buzzing with Beyoncé twin birth Illuminati theories, because let's be real — some people just wanna watch the world burn.

For the uninitiated, the Illuminati are allegedly a secret group of members of the political, entertainment, and business elite who congregate in exclusive secret meetings. (The group purportedly was formed by the Freemasons, a secret fraternity that has its roots in the 1700s.) This is far from the first time Illuminati theories have spread about Beyoncé and Jay Z. Such rumors have been swirling around the couple for years, starting with Jay Z and Beyoncé making triangle shapes with their hands (the Illuminati's official "symbol.") The rumors reached a fever pitch in 2012 when Blue Ivy was born, with many claiming Blue Ivy's name stood for "Born Living Under Evil, Illuminati's Very Youngest." And not, you know, just after a pretty color and plant.

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If you're not convinced yet (although honestly, IDK why you wouldn't be, because that evidence is airtight if you ask me), people started claiming that Beyoncé's twins were embedded in an Illuminati conspiracy in February, after she posted an Instagram photo of herself announcing her pregnancy. Their reasoning? Beyoncé would be having three children in total, with "3" being a significant number for the Illuminati. Also, something about the date of her Instagram reveal being all prime numbers (2/1/2017). I don't know, it's all very confusing.

Needless to say, now that Beyoncé has actually reportedly had the twins, the Illuminati rumors are back in full force — particularly because she gave birth to Gemini twins, with Gemini being represented by twins in the zodiac. Now, fans are poring over the singer's social media accounts, looking for any indication of her association with the Illuminati:

People also seem to be intrigued by the fact that the twins were born on or around Tupac Shakur's birthday (June 16) and Kim Kardashian and Kanye West's daughter North West's birthday (June 15) — although since we don't yet know the actual birth date of Beyoncé's twins, it's tough to say for sure:

In conclusion, all of these people are wrong and the twins aren't the leaders of the Illuminati. If you rearrange the letters of "Beyoncé had twins," you get "Ted Cruz Is The Zodiac Killer." (I mean, no, you don't, but let's just take Beyoncé at her word when she says "y'all haters corny with that Illuminati mess" and just say congratulations to the happy couple.)