After you have a baby, thinking about sex may result in some mixed feelings. On the one hand, you may be terrified that it will be uncomfortable, painful, and just plain bad. On the other hand, you might be excited about sex and connecting with your partner again. No matter how you feel about postpartum sex, just know that it's totally possible to have amazing (and possibly, better) sex than before. So how is sex better after having a baby? It turns out, there are several ways that sex improves after having a baby and sometimes in very unexpected ways.
When people talk about postpartum sex they often focus on the possible pain the mother might feel, and that's good thing. Couples should always be cautious about resuming sex post baby, because you don't want to stunt the healing process or aggravate any child birth injuries. Special care should be taken with the postpartum body. But this is just part of the postpartum sex story. After you're fully healed, both physically and emotionally, it is entirely possible to have mind blowing sex post baby and even better than you ever imagined.
Undoubtedly sex will be different after you have a baby, but that doesn't automatically mean bad. Here are nine ways sex will get even more enjoyable post pregnancy and delivery.
1. You're Super Sensitive Down There
Being sensitive in your nether region might actually be pretty hot. It's not widely talked about, but some women report having better sex and more intense orgasms after having a baby. There are many possible reasons for this, but one is that during child birth the nerves down there get damaged and compressed. That sounds like a bad thing, but OB-GYN Dr. Kelly M. Kasper told Self that as the nerves recover they become hyper-sensitive leading to possibly faster arousal and firework orgasms.
2. You're More Likely To Try New Things
Because pregnancy and child birth are pretty hard on your body, what used to feel good may not anymore. That doesn't mean sex is off the table completely; it simply means you'll need to think outside of the box. If you're feeling frisky, you're more likely to try new positions post baby to see what feels good. You don't know until you try, right? You might want to introduce side-by-side masturbation for awhile or a lot more oral sex into your sex routine as you heal. You may find yourself embracing anal sex. Exploration post baby is a great way to find even better sexual pleasure than you've ever experienced before.
3. You Communicate A Lot More
When you're healing from child birth, whether you've had a traumatic birth or not, you'll want to communicate a whole lot with your initial postpartum sex attempts. Why? Because you don't want to risk messing up the healing process. This means talking to your partner about postpartum sex before you even do it. Write down what you like, what you don't like, and what you want to try. Establish how important it is that you both keep checking in with each other throughout those first few attempts to make sure there's no pain. Speaking up about the kind of sex you want makes it better for everyone involved. And it makes it safer for the healing mother.
4. You Embrace Quickies
It's no secret that parents of little ones are often exhausted and running ragged. If you can't find time to fit a passionate, long, love making session into your schedule - quickies are the way to go. They're fun flings and they'll hold you over for awhile.
5. You Get To Explore Outside Of The Bedroom
If you're used to only doing it in the bedroom pre-baby ,you may find yourself needing to get out of the bedroom post baby. Getting your groove on in your guest bedroom, a bathroom, a closet, or the kitchen counter is totally hot. Sometimes having a baby forces couples outside of their bedrooms, and their comfort zones (which is a good thing). A change of scenery can be a nice way to spice it up.
6. Your Vaginal Muscles Are Stronger
If you're doing your recommended Kegels following the birth of your baby, chances are things are getting pretty strong down there. Kegels not only help re-strengthen your pelvic floor (which is probably a bit weak following pregnancy and birth), they also have a pleasurable bonus. According to Women's Health, kegels are your ticket to off the charts orgasms as they make the sensations and uterine contractions more intense.
7. You Have Less Sex
It might sound counterintuitive to everything you've been told about sex and happiness, but researchers have found doing it more doesn't mean it's necessarily better. Basically there's a quality versus quantity thing going on here.
In a 2015 study conducted by Carnegie Mellon, researchers found that people who felt obligated or required to have sex were less happy and satisfied. But those who had sex because they were in the mood and wanted to were happier.
So before you get down on yourself for not doing it like you used to pre baby, look on the bright side. For many couples, less is actually more in the sex department.
8. Your Love Hormone Is Through The Roof
If you're breastfeeding your love hormone — oxytocin — is likely through the roof. According to Very Well, oxytocin is released when you breastfeed which creates feelings of fuzziness and bonding with your baby. Having that hormone swirling around in your body can also help you get cozy with your partner. What could be better than feeling super close to your main squeeze during sex?
9. You Learn That Intimacy Can Be Achieved Outside Of Sex
When you become a parent, you end up realizing that there are little things you can do every day to improve intimacy, none of which have anything to do with sex. New parents don't always feel up to sex, whether it's because mom is still healing, she's touched out, or both parents are simply exhausted. There are other things that create intimacy and take less effort than sex like reading aloud to each other, taking a few minutes to talk uninterrupted, or simply holding hands. Building intimacy outside of sex is a great way to make the sex and the relationship better overall.
For many couples who've just had a baby, sex might be the furthest thing from their minds. It might even be a little fear inducing, especially for the healing mothers. Just know that it's entirely possible to have better sex after having a baby, but only you will know when the time is right to find out.