People love to tell pregnant women about the magical time they’re in, how incubating a human makes them glow. But real talk: it’s not always as dreamy as they say. There’s the pressure on your bladder to begin with, something that makes all too many of us suddenly question our continence. Then there’s the hormones which can have you cackling wildly one moment and weeping the next. Sure, it’s magical if your meaning of magic is a lowkey feeling of madness. That’s why we need these funny and clever pregnancy Instagram captions for when you literally can’t even.
Tell it like it is on social media rather than putting up faux statements about the perfect pregnancy. Your friends will appreciate your honesty and your fellow pregnant posse will salute your humor. Because, ladies, we’re all in this together. Even though we know the end result will be the sweetest, most darling, best possible thing in the entire world, the journey is a veritable game board of weird body discoveries, bizarre requests from strangers (can I touch your belly?), and one too many trips to the restroom. Land on a locked porta-potty at the wrong moment and it’s game over. Might as well laugh at the 40-ish week mayhem along the way with these funny pregnancy Instagram captions that you can really use anywhere, anytime.
On the Reality of Child Rearing
“Having an infant son alerts me to the fact that every man, at one point, has peed on his own face.” — Olivia Wilde
“Don’t ever tell the mother of a newborn that her baby’s smile is just gas.” — Jill Woodhull
Sleep? Yes, I have a vague recollection of what that was like.
A crying baby is the best form of birth control.
“If you want to know what it’s like to have a fourth kid, just imagine you are drowning and someone hands you a fourth kid.” — Jim Gaffigan
Perfection only exists in babies and pastries.
“Diaper backward spells repaid. Think about it.”― Marshall McLuhan
“Becoming a mom to me means that you have accepted that for the next 16 years of your life, you will have a sticky purse.” —Nia Vardalos
It's like no one in my family appreciates that I stayed up all night overthinking for them.
Growing tiny humans is so exhausting.
Feeling better already, right? Feel free to steal these pregnancy Instagram captions for your own maternity photos.