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Father and son decorating the Christmas tree, laughing at christmas dad jokes
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70 Christmas Dad Jokes That Are Sure To Sleigh

Dad will be oh so punny when he tells these groan-worthy gags.

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Dad jokes get a bad rap. Sure, they’re silly, completely corny and predictable, but they’re still sweet. They’re told with the best of intentions (i.e. to make you laugh), and while they might elicit a groan instead, they’re innocent at best. After all, have you ever heard of a mean dad joke? Probably not. And with the holidays right around the corner, you can set up your partner with these Christmas dad jokes that just might make you crack a smile.

While it’s often fathers who get stuck with the dad joke label, really anyone can tell one. Younger kids in particular are notorious for telling totally obvious jokes, but at least with your child, you feel compelled to laugh at the gag. But what exactly is a dad joke? Well, a dad joke is usually short, consisting of either a question and answer, (i.e. “If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?" "Pilgrims”), with the answer being the punchline. Sometimes, the dad joke is a one-liner that’s meant to be a fun pun, like, “I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey, but then I turned myself around.”

So if your father is feeling festive, give him the floor by telling all the Christmas dad jokes he wants — and try to laugh at some of them. Consider it his present for the holidays.

1

What do snowmen call their offspring?

Answer: Chill-dren.

2

Where does Santa store his suit?

Answer: In his Claus-et.

3

What do reindeers say before they tell you a joke?

Answer: This one’s gonna sleigh you!

4

Did you hear about the angry snowman?

Answer: It had a meltdown.

5

Why did the Grinch go to the liquor store?

Answer: He was searching for some holiday spirit.

6

What do you tell an anxious snowman?

Answer: You need to chill out.

7

Where do Santa’s reindeer stop for coffee?

Answer: Star-bucks.

8

Why do reindeer wear bells?

Answer: Their horns don’t work.

9

Why did Santa’s helper see a therapist?

Answer: Because he had low elf-esteem.

10

What did one Christmas tree say to the other?

Answer: I’m feelin’ pine.

11

What’s every elf’s favorite type of music?

Answer: Wrap.

12

How do you wish a dog Merry Christmas?

Answer: Feliz Navi-dog.

13

Why does Santa always enter through the chimney?

Answer: Because it soots him.

14

Why does Santa use GPS?

Answer: He doesn’t want to be a lost Claus.

15

What do you call a snowman that can walk?

Answer: Snow-mobile.

16

What kind of salad do they serve at the North Pole?

Answer: Iceberg lettuce.

17

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Answer: Frostbite.

18

What did one angel say to the other?

Answer: Halo there!

19

What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?

Answer: The Christmas alphabet has No-el.

20

Why is is always so cold during Christmas?

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Answer: Because it is Decembrrrrrrrr.

21

Why does Santa always enter through the chimney?

Answer: Because it soots him.

22

Did you hear that Santa knows karate?

Answer: He has a black belt.

23

What should you expect at the end of Christmas Day?

Answer: The letter Y.

24

What do you call an obnoxious reindeer?

Answer: Rude-olph.

25

What did the salt say to the pepper on Christmas?

Answer: Seasonings greetings!

26

Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing?

Answer: They always drop their needles.

27

Why didn’t Rudolph go to school?

Answer: He was elf-taught.

28

Who is Santa’s favorite singer?

Answer: Elf-is Presley.

29

What did one snowman say to the other?

Answer: You’re cool.

30

What is Santa’s nationality?

Answer: He’s North Pole-ish.

31

What did Santa ask Rudolph about the weather?

Answer: Is it going to rain, dear?

32

What does Santa eat for breakfast?

Answer: Mistle-toast.

33

What do elves post on Instagram?

Answer: Elf-ies.

34

Why can’t penguins fly?

Answer: They’re not tall enough to be pilots.

35

What’s green, covered in tinsel and goes ‘ribbet ribbet’?

Answer: A Mistle-toad.

36

What do you call a snowman with no arms or legs?

Answer: A snowball.

37

Why doesn’t Santa go to the hospital?

Answer: He has private elf care.

38

What did Santa do when his sleigh broke down?

Answer: He got it mistle-toed.

39

How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming?

Answer: He refers to his calen-deer.

40

What does Santa eat for breakfast?

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Answer: Frosted Flakes.

41

What do you call a scary looking reindeer?

Answer: A cari-boo.

42

What did the beaver say to the Christmas Tree?

Answer: Nice gnawing you!

43

What do you call Santa when he takes a break?

Answer: Santa Pause.

44

What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?

Answer: Tinsil-itis!

45

What does Santa do when his elves misbehave?

Answer: He gives them the sack!

46

What kind of motorcycle does Santa like to ride?

Answer: A Holly Davidson.

47

What is an elf’s favorite sport?

Answer: North-pole vaulting.

48

How can you tell that Santa is real?

Answer: You can always sense his presents.

49

Where do reindeer go if they lose a tail?

Answer: The retail store.

50

Who says Oh Oh Oh?

Answer: Santa walking backward.

51

What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective?

Answer: Santa Clues.

52

Why does Santa have three gardens?

Answer: So he can ho ho ho.

53

What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?

Answer: An abdominal snowman.

54

What did one snowman say to the other?

Answer: Do you smell carrots?

55

What are the best Christmas sweaters made from?

Answer: Fleece Navidad.

56

What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?

Answer: Hornaments.

57

What does a gingerbread man use to keep his bed warm?

Answer: A cookie sheet.

58

What’s every parent’s favorite Christmas Carol?

Answer: Silent Night.

59

Who’s Santa’s favorite female pop star?

Answer: Beyon-sleigh.

60

What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in the chimney?

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Answer: Claustrophobia

61

How does Santa keep track of all the fireplaces he’s visited?

Answer: He keeps a log.

62

Where do Santa and his reindeers stop for coffee in between their journey?

Answer: They go to Star-bucks.

63

What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Answer: Saint Nickel-less.

64

Where does Santa stay when he’s on a vacation?

Answer: At a ho-ho-ho-tel.

65

Where do Santa and all his helpers keep their money safely?

Answer: At the snowbank.

66

Who delivers Christmas presents to sharks?

Answer: Santa Jaws.

67

What do you call the wrapping paper leftover from opening presents?

Answer: A Christ-MESS.

68

What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney when a fire is lit?

Answer: A Krisp Kringle.

69

Where is Santa's favorite place to deliver presents?

Answer: It's Idaho-ho-ho.

70

What do the little helpers of Santa learn when they first go to school?

Answer: They learn the elf-abets.

At the end of the day, dad jokes are a way for Pops to connect with their pack. So even if they’re obvious (or welp, annoying), just know that all they want to do is make you laugh with their dad jokes. So give them a chance, and you never know, you just might be able to disguise your disgust with a slight smile and even a laugh, because sometimes a Christmas dad joke can give you the holly jolly feels.

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