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10 Reasons Being Pregnant On The 4th Of July Is The Best

A year ago, I was pregnant with my second child and loathing the idea of celebrating this nation's independence while simultaneously growing a human being inside my body. That just sounds so exhausting, right? Turns out, as I quickly learned, that being pregnant on the 4th of July is the damn best. No, really. It's great!

Sure, it will probably be really hot outside and that can be miserable, but you know what? If you don't want to be outside, hot, and miserable, just skip the festivities and blame it on your still-forming fetus! Unlike every other non-pregnant person, forced to sweat their you-know-what off in the name of freedom, you have a built-in excuse to forego the festivities and sit inside. In front of the AC. Drinking a cold AF, non-alcoholic drink. In peace. By yourself.

That, my friends, is every pregnant person's dream.

So, sure, you can't really throw back shots of whatever alcoholic beverage your drunk friend is serving in celebration of this nation's freedom, but you'll also be skipping that "oh say can you see" hangover and feeling like a put-together human being on July 5. So for that, and so many other valid reasons that are rarely discussed, being pregnant on the Fourth of July is kind of the best. Trust me.

An Excuse To Leave A Party Early...

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Someone dip into the punch a little too enthusiastically? That one weird family member asking far too many intrusive questions? Your couch and Netflix sounding more and more appealing by the second? Cool, just bounce! Blame it on your future baby! That's why we have babies, people!

As a gestating human, no one is going to fault you for leaving a party early.

... Or Not Go To One At All

Look, it's not like I'm particularly proud of the following statement, but the truth is the truth:

I have shamelessly used pregnancy as a reason not to go to a thing I just straight up didn't want to go do.

There, I said it. You non-pregnant people can drink alcohol and sneeze without peeing. When we're pregnant, having a built-in excuse is our thing. Let us have our thing.

All The Food

It's fried and it's barbecued and it's covered in ranch or mayo or ketchup. It's finger foods and juicy burgers and cold ice cream cones. It's all the so-called "guilty" food pleasures we just can't help but love, and they're all for the taking.

The spread at any Fourth of July shindig is going to be delicious, and I can tell you that, as a pregnant person in desperate need of a little extra fuel, you'll be more than happy to make the most of it (and take home some leftovers).

The Pools

Since it's probably going to be stupid hot outside, take advantage of all the pools! Whether it's someone's fancy backyard pool, a kiddie pool, or anything in-between, no one is going to bat an eye when you hang with the kids and get your soak on.

The Number Of People Willing To Help

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If you have a supportive family, chances are they're not going to let you lift a finger when you're pregnant and in their presence. You're growing their future grandchild or niece or nephew or cousin or second cousin twice removed or whatever other weird combination of relation! You need to relax!

Let that one lazy cousin of yours set the table while you put your swollen feet up and focus on staying hydrated.

An Excuse To Skip The Fireworks

I'm not trying to be some sort of grump, but if you've seen one fireworks display you've, in my opinion, seen them all. So if you don't want to wait up to see the fireworks, or you're simply over the entire charade, call it a day! Blame it on your fetus's still-developing ear canal! Those fireworks are too loud for your future baby!

I'm telling you, it's going to work every single time.

No One Expects You To Make Anything...

You're already making a human being, so you can skip making the pasta salad this year. Let that be someone else's problem.

... Or Bring Anything

You probably won't have to bring anything, either. Drinks? Why? If they're of the alcoholic variety chances are you're not going to be imbibing anyway. And honestly, why would anyone ask you to carry a bunch of stuff to their Fourth of July party when you're already carrying a fetus inside your body? You're doing enough heavy lifting as it is, my friends!

You Won't Have To Play "Hostess"

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If you don't want to, of course. I know some people love being the hostess. I, however, am not one of those people, so you can bet your you-know-what that I used my pregnancy as a reason why I couldn't host any holiday parties during the duration of my gestation. Nope. Wasn't going to happen. I was already "hosting" a still-forming human inside my body. That's enough "hosting" for me for an entire year... and then some.

Did I Mention The Food?

YOU GUYS FOURTH OF JULY FOOD IS SO GOOD AND SERIOUSLY TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ALL THE GRILLED MEATS AND DELICIOUS TREATS AND PASTA SALAD AND DEVILED EGGS AND EVERY OTHER FOOD GROUP KNOWN TO MAN.

I promise, you will not regret it.