The moment I found out I was pregnant and decided that I wanted and was able and was willing to be a mother, I started preparing. I thought books would prepare me and research would prepare me and questioning my own mother would prepare me, because I wanted to be the best mom I could possibly be to my future kid. Turns out, while all of those things definitely helped, surviving the mommy wars actually makes you a better mom, and perhaps pushes you towards becoming the best parent you could possibly be.
I wish it wasn't necessary; no one likes being judged and shamed and criticized for the choices they make, especially by people who probably don't know your background and definitely don't take the time to realize the undeniable fact that different choices work for different families. However, given the accessibility of social media and the microscope we all live our lives under, judgement and shame are endless and inevitable. I've experienced my fair share of both by way of the #mommywars, and while they often left me in a pile of my own tears, feeling like a failed mother as self-doubt consumed me, they also made me stronger and more capable and more steadfast in my decisions, even the decisions that were outright ridiculed by others.
When people judge you, you tend to look inward. While that self-exploration can be difficult and humbling, it can also teach you so many valuable lessons that inevitably make you a great mom. It can validate your choices and it can help you change a potentially bad decision and it can make you more inclusive and understanding yourself, because you know what it's like when other people aren't. So, with that in mind, here are few ways the mommy wars actually help you become the best mom you can be, because it's not all bad, right?