I used to be a "perfect mom." My house was always clean. I made everything from scratch. I was never late for anything. I had a perfect job, a beautiful home, and angelic children. I even drove a hybrid. All of it seemed so idyllic when you saw my life on social media. However, my life was far from perfect that I can't even joke about it, and once I figured out that perfection wasn't all that it seemed, I realized that being the hot mess mom should be your #momgoals, not just a consolation prize.
Once I gave up my dreams of being perfect, I finally learned how to be happy. I don't have to be a size two or prepare home-cooked meals from organic, locally-grown produce every day. I don't have to look or dress like everyone else. I don't have to be President of the PTA, or make Pinterest-worthy holiday treats. My kids and husband don't care about those things. They love me just the way I am, with my blue hair, terrible dancing, and silly stories about dragons and unicorns. They appreciate my willingness to eat ice cream or cereal for dinner and to buy dollar nail polish for us to try when we are having a hard time. Although other people might raise their eyebrows at my blue hair or snarky shirts, they honestly like me better this way than they did when I was constantly cleaning or working too hard to be who I thought I was supposed to be.
So, while I might have messy hair and wear leggings every day — and while I might always be late and drink too much coffee and occasionally stick my foot firmly in my mouth about what society expects of me — I am way happier this way. It's time to not only stop reaching for perfection, but to sit back, have a glass of cheap wine, and enjoy being "hot mess moms." Here's a few reasons why:
Trying to be perfect (or purrfect) all of the time is so stressful. Let it go, and you'll find out that it's a heck of a lot easier to just be yourself than it is to look or act perfect.
When you are a "hot mess mom," you can't help but to not take yourself too seriously. For me, this became spending way more time playing with my kids in the back yard and eating junk food while watching Frozen for the 50th time.
My kids have way more fun with "hot mess mom," than they did with Type A, "always trying to be perfect mom." She is way more likely to let you have a dance party in the living room or take you out for ice cream when dinner burns.
The struggle is real. Just say no to pants. Unless they are yoga pants, because they are life itself.
Stop taking yourself so seriously. Get a rad haircut. Have fun. Dye your hair purple. It's way less stressful to stop caring what people think.
Laundry is my nemesis. Now, I've stopped letting it own me. We each have a basket to pull clean clothes from. Very occasionally, I get all of our clothes folded and put away. We celebrate those rare moments by starting over the next day with more dirty clothes. You can't win unless you give in.
I'm not saying I don't occasionally cry when someone criticizes me or my apparent inability to do anything right, but it doesn't take over my life.
I don't argue at dinner time. My cooking may not be perfect, but I try. If they don't want to eat it, they can make something else. I refuse to make a sad kid sit at the table until they clean their plate. *shudders*
There's something comforting about people not expecting you to be perfect all of the time. They cut you more slack, and you stop feeling like a failure. #Winning
This is the biggest thing. In the past three years, I've completely changed my life, mostly for the better. Now I know that my tiny dress size, perfect car, immaculate house, high-powered career, and now ex-husband, were not me at all.