When I decided to become a mom, and started thinking about what kind of mom I wanted to be, I considered a lot of things; my ideal lifestyle, my values, my goals for my children, and the things I learned from studying and working with kids. Now that I've been attachment parenting for a while, I still think about those things, but the one thing that has never factored into any of my decisions is how my parenting choices "rank" among other parents. One of the things attachment parents want everyone else to know, is that we do what we do because it works for us, not because we're judging anyone else.
When it comes to choices like babywearing, co-sleeping with my baby, or breastfeeding until my son self-weans, know that I'm doing what I do because given all of the choices we have, these are the ones that work for us. For me, "works for us" means "maximizing the amount of sleep and other physical necessities we all get, while minimizing the amount of crying and conflict I have to deal with on a daily basis. I'm not trying to prove that I'm "mom enough," or trying to prove that I'm somehow better than anyone. I'm just glad I have the ability to parent as I see fit, and want other people to feel that confident and secure in their parenting, too.
I don't care how other people choose to parent, as long as other parents and their children are safe, healthy, respected, and their kids are growing up to respect others. I'm not participating in any kind of parenting competition with anybody, because I'm too busy trying to keep up with my own life. If I'm competing with anyone, its with the idealized mental image I have of myself as a mom, and I'm actually working really hard to stop trying to compete with that imaginary person, too.
From talking to lots of other moms and dads, including many who identify as attachment parents, I don't think I'm alone in wishing that people would stop assuming we're judging, or that they'd understand the following things about us: