10 Things Every Lazy Mom Doesn't Worry About
Y'all, I'm lazy. I'm unapologetic about it even though some people see it as a fault. My kids are loved and well-cared for, but I am no Martha Stewart. I'm not supermom and don't see the point in killing myself to try to be. Thankfully, I'm also not the only one. You can usually tell when you're in the presence of a fellow "lazy mom," because there are certain things every lazy mom just doesn't worry about.
When my older son was a toddler, I was obsessed — and I mean obsessed — with sensory stimulation and enrichment activities. I scoured the internet for ideas and created countless disorganized Pinterest boards. In other words, I was completely off the rails. We did something new every day and if a day passed and I hadn't created a new "provocation" or "invitation to play," I felt like a failure. I set the bar impossibly high for myself and all it ended up leaving me with was an overwhelming feeling of failure and, you know, crap. My son, on the other hand didn't care (and didn't even notice). He was just as happy playing with sticks as he was playing with lavender scented homemade gluten free play dough. (Actually, he much preferred the sticks.)
Once I realized I didn't have to create this Pinterest-perfect, amazing, enriching childhood for him, it was like a lightbulb went off. I didn't have to do anything but simply allow him to be a kid. He didn't need me to create experiences, I just needed to make sure he didn't die or break something valuable. Lazy parenting became my thing and let me tell you, dear reader, I'm pretty damn good at it.
Fancy Lunchbox Prep
This bento box trend is killing me. I honestly don't know how the parents who pull them off have the time or motivation for it. It's cute, yeah, and your kids probably think it's amazing, but I honestly have no clue how you manage to make these intricate themed rice bowls when I'm phoning it in with a ham sandwich and still struggling.
Matching Every Single Pair Of Socks
Every sock drawer in my house looks like a maelstrom. I do not match socks. I used to, but somewhere along the way I just gave up. I even tried the Konmari fold-your-socks thing and found it way too labor intensive.
I was chatting with a friend recently about laundry and she was scandalized when I told her I don't sort. She couldn't wrap her head around it. I don't sort by color or type or person and I don't sort by fabric or water temperature. Everything gets washed together on cold and, yep, it all comes out clean.
Use Pinterest Regularly
There are few things that can make a person feel inadequate like Pinterest makes a person feel inadequate. To stave off the kids birthday party, holiday tablescape, front door wreath insecurity, do what I do; stay far away from Pinterest. Ain't nobody got time decorative paper folding.
Holiday Themed Matching Outfits
I know moms who have a different Christmas themed smocked dress for every day of December. I know moms who coordinate outfits for multiple kids for every holiday. I know moms who love matching holiday outfits.
I, well, just can't. Seriously. My kids are lucky to wear pants every day, much less matching themed ensembles.
Creating Experiences For Your Kids
Sensory bins, quiet bags, fairy gardens; I really did try when my older son was a toddler. I went to great lengths to make sure he had something enriching to do every day. After my younger son was born, when I got full-on lazy, I realized that kids — when given space and time — can find enriching things to do on their own. They don't need us to present them with Pinterest worthy activities. They need us to step away and let them figure it out. Thankfully. Because lazy.
Makeup (Most Days)
My sister got married recently and I had to go buy new makeup for her wedding. My mascara was dried up and crusty, at least 2 years old. My foundation had turned to cement in the bottle. I can't remember the last time I wore full face makeup two days in a row and can't muster the energy to even wear powder and lipgloss most days.
Changing Out Of Pajamas
See these pants? Yeah, I slept in them. I wore them yesterday, too. They pull double duty, daytime pants and nighttime pants. These pants work hard so I can be lazy.
Parents the world over lament being their kids' chauffeur. The mom or dad taxi service is a universal thing. I say, "Yeah, eff that noise." My kid does one thing. One. I take him to karate once a week. Anything more is just too much and can wait until he can drive himself.
Keeping The House Spotless
My house is messy. I have two boys under the age of five and cleaning up after them is an exercise in futility. I could pick up the same truck or the same blocks every day, or I could just leave them since they are just going to pull it right back out.
When people come over and I apologize for the mess, I am not being self-deprecating or falsely modest. I know my house is trashed and I know that if I expended more effort I could keep it tidy, but really, I'm just too lazy to care.