10 Things Every Stay-At-Home Mom Wishes Other Moms Just Knew

Ad failed to load

Leaving the workforce and staying home with your kids is a big decision, and the implications are usually more substantial than we realize. Staying home with small children, day after day, is both physically and emotionally difficult, so it's not uncommon for stay-at-home moms feel misunderstood and even slighted by their working mom counterparts. In fact, I'd wager there are things every stay-at-home mom wishes other moms just knew.

When I chose to leave my job five years ago to stay home with my newborn, I was amazingly unprepared for what it meant to be a stay-at-home mom. The isolation was overwhelming and I struggled with the domesticity of it all. I've never been great at housekeeping, so when I realized that the majority of my day would be filled with tasks that I struggled to complete sufficiently, I became super discouraged. As a result, my confidence took a huge hit. I went from a job I loved and was really good at, to questioning everything I was doing while simultaneously feeling like I was in way over my head.

Over the years I've grown accustomed to the more mundane aspects of my daily life, but the depression and feelings of isolation have lingered and I don't think they're going away anytime soon. I know I'm not alone in these feelings, which is a small comfort. I definitely know there are things almost every stay-at-home mom wishes other moms knew about our lives, up to and including the following:

Ad failed to load

Sometimes, We're Lonely...


I don't care what anyone says, being home every second of every day with small children is lonely. It may seem like we are free to come and go as we please — hanging out with other moms, going to playdates, and having coffee — but it's not like that. Sometimes I don't leave the house for multiple days in a row. Days, you guys. At home. With kids.

And if you live in a rural area? Forget about it. You can go an entire week without seeing another adult aside from your partner.

...But We're Never Alone

Ironically, of course, we're never alone. Small children follow us everywhere we go. Bathroom? Yep. Shower? You bet. We have zero privacy and absolutely no solitude.

Unless we stay up very late or wake up very early, we will constantly have a little person nearby and probably touching us. I imagine working mothers take for granted the small blocks of time they have alone (probably in a commute) and not home with their kid (or kids). Your commute and your bathroom breaks, and your lunch break (I'm assuming, again) are all time spent alone. Yeah, we don't get to choose.

We Crave Adult Interaction


As much as we adore our kids, we would love to have a conversation that doesn't involve potty training, Disney characters, snacks, or boogers.

Ad failed to load

We Don't Feel Intellectually Stimulated

Before we chose to stay home (or had to stay at home because it made the most financial sense for our family), many of us had jobs that we found simulating and challenging. Many of us have college degrees, or even post-grad degrees, and days spent wiping butts and cutting grapes in half isn't the intellectual pursuit we once enjoyed.

Our Daily Lives Are Tedious


Stay-at-home moms have routines by default. Our kids have routines and therefore, so do we. We have cleaning routines and laundry routines and taco Tuesday and errand day and it all gets very tedious and monotonous and, at times, a little boring.

Many Of Us Live With Depression

A 2015 study found that stay-at-home moms are more depressed, angry, and sad that working moms. So it's not a stretch to say a great many stay-at-home moms suffer from depression, and it can be exacerbated by the isolation and tedium of our daily lives.

Ad failed to load

Many Of Us Struggle Financially


Being a one income family in a two income world isn't easy. Then again, paying for unbelievably expensive childcare isn't easy either. In other words, we can't win. As a result, many of us pinch our pennies and stick to strict budgets to be able to afford to stay home with our children.

We Feel Unappreciated

Much of our work goes unnoticed and unappreciated by our partners (as well as other moms, honestly). It's nothing short of disheartening to do all the things we do every day, then have people ask what we do all day or insinuate that we sit on a couch and eat snacks and barely lift a perfectly manicured finger. False.

Our Work Is Hard


We wake up early, stay up late, don't sleep well, we are constantly on our feet; picking up, tidying up, lifting babies, preparing meals. Our work is physical and, more often that not, we don't find the time to take care of ourselves.

Ad failed to load

We Love Being Home (Most Of The Time)

All that said, we love being home with our kids. It's not easy and many times we feel like it would be easier to put our children in daycare and go back to work (not that dropping your kid off at daycare or working a full-time job while parenting is automatically easy, by any means) but, ultimately, this is what's right for our family and we're lucky to be able to do it.

Just cut us some slack. We're doing our best and, honestly, your opinion of us matters more than you know.

Ad failed to load
Must Reads

The Pressure To Worry About The Gap Between Kids Is So Bad For Moms

"Two under two is absolutely crazy," a friend recently told me upon hearing the news that I was expecting a second child. "Why would you do this to yourself? Seriously, why?" However harsh her words, she was only echoing the same feelings I'd been ba…
By Marie Southard Ospina

To Be Honest, I Couldn't Survive Motherhood Without My Job

The decision to work outside the home once you've become a parent can be a complicated one. Some people don't really have a choice, and go back to work because they're either a single parent or can't sustain their family on one income. Some choose to…
By Priscilla Blossom

I Feel Guilty That My Kid’s Dad Is A Better Parent Than Me, & That’s Bullsh*t

I was scared, and he was sure. I was clueless, and he was well-researched. I was making mistakes, and he was picking up the pieces. From the moment I found out I was pregnant until just last night, when I threw my hands up in the air and left the alw…
By Danielle Campoamor

These Millennial Parents Are Taking Gender-Neutral Parenting To An Entirely New Level

A woman on the subway looks at my bulbous shape and asks, “What are you having?” I take a deep breath and throw a glance to my 5-year-old. “I’m having a baby,” I say to the woman. “No, no” the woman says laughing as she pushes further. “Are you havin…
By Madison Young

I’m Registered At Babies “R” Us, & I'm Freaking The Hell Out

Hi. My name is Abi, and I’m registered at Babies “R” Us — and I’m freaking out. This may sound silly, but after being a die-hard Toys “R” Us kid, I was so excited to register at their baby store once my husband and I finally got our big fat positive …
By Abi Berwager Schreier

My Daughter Is Obsessed With Being "Pretty" & I'm Way Past Terrified

Last week, when I picked up my daughter after school, she immediately wanted to know if I liked her hair. "Is it pretty?" she asked. Her hair was pulled up into two ponytails that were intertwined into thick, long braids. A shimmering pink and purple…
By Dina Leygerman

7 Things No One Tells You About Having A Baby In Your 20s, But I Will

I was 24 when I found out I was pregnant with my daughter. The pregnancy was a surprise, since I was on birth control (side note: antibiotics and birth control don't mix), but my partner and I decided to continue with the pregnancy and committed to m…
By Candace Ganger

Women Who Miscarry Early Deserve To Grieve — Here's How Hospitals Should Be Helping

When I lost my baby back in 2013, it was because of a very early miscarriage. Because of the little amount of time I spent being pregnant, it was though my child had never really existed, which made the next few years hard — I felt like they had been…
By Risa Kerslake

7 Things I Wish My Partner Had Said To Me In The First Hour After Giving Birth

I don't know if it was the buzz of the surrounding machines, the non-existent cry of our son as the doctors tried to resuscitate him, or the fact that I'd already been through labor and delivery once before, but I knew something was missing after I h…
By Candace Ganger

Moms’ Groups Weren’t For Me, Sorry

I go to my moms’ club everyday of the week, but not usually on weekends. My moms' group is a place I can always count on finding fellow mothers who understand the daily struggles and triumphs of parenthood and of juggling life’s responsibilities. Dep…
By Samantha Taylor

Millennial Women Are Getting Married Later Than Gen X, & The Reasons Why Are Pretty Badass

The battle of the generations seems to come up when it comes to every lifestyle or career choice people make. Women, especially, are an important demographic when it comes to analysts looking at the lifestyle choices we make or the expected milestone…
By Josie Rhodes Cook

I've Had 3 Miscarriages But *Please* Keep Telling Me About Your Pregnancy

I can feel the tension the moment my friend announces her pregnancy. I can hear the forced nonchalant attitude she's willing herself to exude as she fishes for the ultrasound. I know why I was the last to learn that she was expecting; why she keeps l…
By Danielle Campoamor

7 Early Signs You're Going To Need An Epidural, According To Experts

Even if you've constructed an elaborate birth plan, it's impossible to control every aspect of labor and delivery. Complications can occur, proactive measures might be necessary, and your mind is subject to change when those damn contractions really …
By Candace Ganger

I'm Pregnant & I Refuse To Read Any Parenting Books

I didn't read any parenting books when I was expecting my daughter, and I refuse to read any parenting books as I await my second child now. I'm the first to admit that I don't really know what I'm doing when it comes to raising my daughter. A good d…
By Marie Southard Ospina

7 Reasons Why March Babies Are Total Badasses

From the moment you become pregnant, you begin to wonder what your little one will be like. Will they look like you, your partner, or your Great Aunt Edna? Will they be the quiet, thoughtful type or arrive on this planet raring to go? It's fun to ima…
By Caroline Shannon-Karasik

12 Overnight Face Masks To Use To Wake Up Feeling Pampered AF

Spring is right around the corner, and as far as I'm concerned, the sunshine and warm breezes can't come soon enough. But now that we're about to say goodbye to winter, it's a good time to take stock of your facial skincare routine. You know, in the …
By Katie Malczyk

11 Essential Products To Pack In Your Hospital Bag, According To OB-GYNs

The minute you go into labor (or think you're going into labor), chaos ensues. You and your partner are likely to get a little frantic, just like in the movies, so you most definitely want to have a hospital bag packed before the day comes. This prec…
By Abi Berwager Schreier

7 Photos You *Must* Take In The First 6 Months Of Motherhood

In my experience, becoming a mom is like becoming an amateur photographer. There's just something about the need to capture every single coo and sorta-smile that leaves you obsessed with all things photography. I know I couldn't stop taking selfies w…
By Candace Ganger

Here's How Early An Ultrasound Can Actually Determine Your Baby's Sex

From the moment you see those two lines on a pregnancy test, there are a few markers along the way that stand out as especially exciting. Amongst them are hearing your baby's heartbeat and feeling that first, sweet little kick. And if you are finding…
By Caroline Shannon-Karasik

9 Easy Kid Foods To Turn Green, Just In Time For St. Patrick's Day

The best part about having kids is that you get your own personal crew to celebrate the holidays with, in all your color coordinating and matching glory. And with St. Patrick’s Day right around the corner, you are obviously working on turning everyth…
By Mishal Ali Zafar