There's likely a lot of judgment about moms with nannies. Hell, there's a lot of judgment about everything a mom does or doesn't do, says or doesn't say, looks like or doesn't look like. But, and probably even a little surprisingly, the things that I can't help but think when I see a mom with a nanny honestly have nothing to do with judgment. No, really. I swear.
'm told that communities raised kids together back in the day. Personally, I think it sounds fabulous. The more help parents have when it comes to child-rearing, the more loving they can be with their children. Stress is a huge factor in creating less-than-ideal relationships between parents and kids. If my partner and I had more help, like a regular babysitter or family that was close by, I honestly think we might feel less like we were losing our sh*t all the time and more like we had a handle on things.
Since I have yet to find and live in a commune of like-minded people, I'm thinking those badass warrior goddesses known as nannies are a happy middle grounds. They allow parents the ability to get some rest, some guilt-free time to work, and to actually be present when it's their turn to tap in and parent.
One of my close friends just got a nanny and I couldn't be happier for her. Honestly, my first thought was "Whoo hoo!" after hearing the news. Here are some other things I can't help but think when I see a mom with a nanny:
"Damn, She's Lucky!"
Jealous. That's how I feel when I see a mom with a nanny. Jealous AF.
"How Do I Get One Of Those?"
Who doesn't want a nanny? Someone to help clean the house and teach the kids how to tie their shoes? Seriously! I didn't learn shoe tying until I was like 8 years old so I feel pretty unqualified to teach my 5-year-old. How can I get a nanny to help me with that?
"She Gets So Much More Fun Time With Her Kids"
This may or may not be true, but when I fantasize about having a nanny I consider the nanny the disciplinarian that makes my kids clean their rooms. Then I get to be the one who swoops in after work with all the fun stuff, like movies and bike rides. Seriously, sign me up.
"I'll Never Be Able To Afford It"
Sadly, readers, this is likely my plight. My partner and I are lucky when we can hire a 15-year-old babysitter for movie night. I haven't done a price comparison or anything, but I'm pretty sure nannies charge more than a pre-teen babysitter.
"Am I Too Controlling For A Nanny?"
In all honesty, maybe none of the cost stuff matters because a nanny would likely quit me anyway. I don't like to admit it, but I'm pretty controlling when it comes to my family. A nanny would probably get pretty sick of me extremely quickly.
"Who Gets To Decide The Discipline?"
My instinct says it's still the parents, but all those nanny reality TV shows tell a very different story. So, I mean, how does that work? How does a parent get to be in charge of the discipline, without undermining a nanny when that parent is away?
"Will The Kids Be Confused?"
Confused by who is a parent and who isn't? And, honestly, does it matter?
"Nannying Seems Easier Than Parenting"
Again, this is based on nothing at all except my conjecture. I wonder if nannying would be easier for me than parenting. I mean, after all, you do get to play with them and be their friend without the responsibility of society blaming you when they do something wrong. Perhaps it's easier to be nice to other people's kids when you're stressed and tired, than it is your own?
No, dear reader, it's not lost on me that I basically said the ideal nannying situation would be one in which the parents would get to have all the fun and, well, now I'm saying the opposite. These are honestly the thoughts that go through my head, though.
"What Happens When The Nanny Leaves?"
Would it be devastating for the kids? It seems the bond between nannies and their charges are stronger than those between other types of caregivers and the children they're responsible for. So what happens when a long time nanny gets another job? Will the kids feel abandoned?
"I Bet The Nanny Pushes The Swings"
I really dislike pushing swings. I'm not sure why it is so aggravating to me, you guys, but I just do. If I hired a nanny, I bet she would gladly push my kids on the swings all the damn time, and it would no longer be my responsibility.
I am so jealous of moms with nannies.