To say we don't really buy into traditional gender roles in our family is a bit of an understatement. My husband and I share household responsibilities relatively equally and often surprise people, like when they learn that I renovated our bathroom and my husband makes dinner and school lunches. My husband is a great dad. It's one of the things I love most about him. That said, there are a few things I don't want my partner's help with when it comes to parenting. Why? I'm better at them. I'm kidding. Rather, because there are some situations where a second cook in the kitchen seriously gets in the way. Literally.
I mean, if I'm cooking dinner I really don't want my husband's help. Honestly, it will be frustrating for both of us. Then, of course, there are tasks like bedtime and the morning routine, where adding another parent to the mix will create stress instead of value. It seems like every time I tell our son he can't wear shorts when it's 50 degrees, he replies, "Well, but dad already said I could wear them." So frustrating. Speaking of saying no, I'm pretty sure our kids have now reached ages where "asking dad if mom says no" is pretty much part of their daily routine. Which is why I always ask, "Did you ask your dad?" before giving a response.
With a few exceptions (cloth diaper laundry, I see you), it's not that my husband isn't fully capable of doing most parenting tasks. Believe me when I say that I seriously hate the trope of dads being clueless and suck at being parents. It's just that in most situations, I've already got it handled, so when he offers to help it feels like he thinks I'm not doing it right. Then, when he jumps in to assist, he often gets in the way or makes things harder than they would have been by myself. I have to weigh whether or not to let him know and to find a way to do it without hurting his feelings. Balancing a healthy marriage and co-parenting is sometimes hard AF. Here are a few times when I actually don't want his help.