Breastsleeping isn't for everyone. Heck, it wasn't even for me the first time around. I found accidental breastsleeping with my second child to be a lifesaver, though. Now that I'm on baby number three, I'm a total convert. If you're anything like me, you love breastsleeping. It's a hard-to-quantify love, though, because it feels visceral and beyond words. Because I know my baby loves it, too, I often like to think of what my baby's thinking when we're breastsleeping.
It's a curious practice for me, and perhaps I'm strange in this regard. My little one, not yet a year old, is just beginning to think for themselves as they realize they aren't symbiotic with me. How fantastic those first thoughts must be, right? How simple-yet-profound would it be if I could look inside their head and be witness to the first formation of thought. I liken it, in my imagination, to being present for the birth of a star.
Yet, modern science also tells us that babies are actually much more aware than we've historically given them credit for. Given that fact, imagine all the amazing thoughts your baby must be thinking when breastsleeping! There's really no end to the fun of figuring out, especially when considering your child's unique personality, what they're thinking. Here are a few of my favorite imaginary breastsleeping baby-musings.
"Nom Nom Nom"
"Ma! That stuff's good! Give me some more!"
"What's That Smell?"
TMI alert, you guys. Let's be honest, since my first pregnancy I'm the gassiest Gus on Gas Street. My sweet reiki rainbow baby has to marinate in that bouquet all night. I often wonder if it wakes them up, or if they're just used to it.
I remember my mother's smell as a specific type of perfume. My breastsleeping baby will remember mine as something quite different. Ew.
"OMG! Where's The Boob?!"
All breastsleepers know that feeling of the little head wiggling around, legs kicking frantically as still-asleep-baby nuzzles around for the nipple. Their mouth is wide open, eyes still closed, tongue searching for bosom solace. I call that the, "OMG! Where's the boob?!" search.
"What Is That Infernal Racket?"
I had surgery for my deviated septum and accompanying mind-numbingly loud snore over a decade ago. However, if you're in baby's brain they can definitely not tell. Mama's closed airways are right above their head, after all. It's a wonder my baby can get any sleep at all with those reverberations.
"Best Pillow Ever"
"Best. Pillow. Ever"
I mean, seriously.
"Where's The Leftovers?"
So, as my baby has grown I've noticed this adorable little dried milk mustache on their upper lip in the morning. Sometimes there's even a beard. Ugh. It's so cute.
I fancy them looking askance at their siblings' faces in the morning, thought bubble actively engaged. "Where's the leftovers?"
"Time For A Let-Down Cool-Down!"
Speaking of milk mustaches, I'm curious how this happens. I don't have an oversupply issue, so it's not like I'm a big leaker where I could see some spray action happening. However, it does get pretty toasty in our bedroom at night. Do they suckle until a let-down and then pull off real quick in order to cool off with a let-down cool-down? Stranger things have happened.
"Ma! Ma! Get Back On My Arm!"
Does anyone else experience this? All my babies, when breastfeeding while laying down, tuck their bottom arm under the breast they're suckling. I'm always afraid I'll squish it. Not only has it never bothered any of them, but they all actually get frustrated if I try to reposition them. I imagine my baby crinkles their wee brow in consternation when I roll over to my back and leave that tiny little arm to fend for itself. "Ma! Ma! Get back on my arm!" Says their thought bubble.
"I Love You So Much"
In all seriousness, can you even imagine how much your little one is filled with absolute, untainted love in those moments of pure nurturing? Nothing but baby, parent, and breastfeeding.
Let me make clear that this is only my experience. I am not saying everyone can or wants to have an experience like this. I am not saying people even need to breastsleep (or breastfeed, for that matter) to get an experience like this.
I'm just saying my experience of this moment in time with my breastsleeping 11 month old is overwhelming love. What that must feel like to a new human is breathtaking to me.
"Aren't I The Cutest Thing In Cute Town?"
OK, so that's my thought bubble.