Sleep deprivation is an unfortunate, but common, side effect of motherhood. I don't think there's a single mom on the planet who doesn't need more sleep. Being in a constant state of exhaustion can lead a mom to some very questionable antics, and while the weird things moms do when they're tired are mostly hilarious, some of them are downright strange.
Being sleep deprived sort of feels like being drunk. At first, it's sort of fun, but eventually, when the hilarity wears off and complete and utter exhaustion set in, the brain begins to suffer. Being sleep deprived affects your parenting in a lot of uniquely crappy ways, most of which are completely harmless but incredibly annoying. Walking around all day, every day like an extra from The Walking Dead, while also trying to take care of and nurture another human being's life, makes even the most put together of us feel like we're completely losing our collective sh*t.
Though sleep deprivation is a fairly routine part of parenting that, yes, eventually subsides, the toll it begins to take after weeks (or months) of exhaustion, can feel mind numbing at best, and like you're physically dying at worst. Especially when you reach the point of feeling like you've lost your damn mind, which trust me, will inevitably happen. Once you reach that point, things might start to get a little hazy, and you will find yourself doing some seriously weird things, including the following:
You Leave Random Things In The Refrigerator
I was searching for the remote for an hour yesterday before I got thirsty and walked to the fridge, where I found the remote sitting on top of the eggs. How did it get there, you ask? If I knew the answer to that question I probably wouldn't have been searching for it for as long as I did.
You Continue To Watch Cartoons Even After Your Kids Are In Bed
Have you ever had cartoons on before putting your kids to bed, only to find yourself still watching them after your kids have been sleeping for over an hour because you completely zoned out? I do this, like, pretty much every day. I'm just so tired by the time I get my boys to sleep, that I don't care what's on the television screen; I'm most likely sleeping with my eyes open, anyway.
You Forget Why You Walked Into A Room
Multiple times throughout any given day, I find myself walking into a room without the slightest clue as to why I'm there. I know I had a really good reason for being there, like, two minutes ago, but once I get there that reason completely escaped me. That's probably how the remote found its way into the refrigerator.
You Puts All Your Kids' Clothes On The Wrong Way
My kids are close together in age, so when I brought my baby home I had a toddler to take care of, too. I survived, but I also hit a few (read: many) bumps in the road along the way. While getting my boys in their pajamas before bed, I accidentally put my baby's onesie on my toddler. I thought it was pretty odd that I was struggling to fasten those tiny snaps, and only realized why when my toddler walked away, looking like he was wearing a miniature leotard.
You Forget To Wear Pants
Yes, this really happened to me when I had visitors come over to see the baby. Yes, it was embarrassing. Yes, it was also kind of hilarious.
You Text Friends And Family, Then Completely Forget About It
Texting while sleep deprived is the equivalent of texting while drunk. They say don't drink and text (or Facebook), but that same rule should be applied to texting and using social media while sleep deprived. I've sent people texts in the middle of the day that made them question my sobriety. I wasn't drunk though, just exhausted.
You Forget Where The Baby Is
Hasn't every mom fallen asleep while sitting upright on the couch, only to wake up in a panic two minutes later and question where her baby is? The baby might even be sitting right next to her, but for the two seconds it takes her to figure that out, she's going to be in a state of completely and total terror.
You Forget How To Dress Yourself
I've gone to work with mismatched shoes, mistaken dirty scrubs for clean scrubs, had my shirt on inside out and used my yoga pants as leggings, all because I was too tired to pay attention to what I was wearing. Getting dressed in an extreme state of exhaustion is basically the same as getting dressed in the dark. It never ends well.
You Lose Literally Everything...
A few months ago, I was frantically searching for my cell phone while I was talking to my dad on the phone about not being able to find my cell phone. That's far from the only thing that I've lost, or thought I lost, while sleep deprived. My keys, purse, shoes, socks, tooth brush, dog, and bra (just to name a few) have all gone missing at some point in my life since becoming a mom.
...And Forget Literally Everything
I feel like the biggest jerk sometimes, because I make plans with family and friends only to completely forget about them two minutes later. I've missed countless doctors appointments and deadlines because I don't have the capacity to remember them. I misplace things and lose things and think that I have said or done things that I actually never said or did, and I've legitimately questioned my mental stability because of it. I probably would have missed my own wedding if I had kids before I got married, because I would have been too tired to remember that I was, you know, getting married.
The struggle is so real, you guys.