It's an old running joke to insinuate that once you have kids, you'll never have sex again. Exhaustion is partly to blame, but many people are also terrified that their kid is going to walk in at any moment, and will then spend their adult years in therapy. But believe it or not, there are certain sex positions when your kid is in the next room that can keep you pleased and keep the kids out.
Because let's face it — it's not always easy to find a babysitter for those sexy date nights. When you're ready to be intimate with your partner, you have to take any opportunity you can get, right? Maybe your kid is napping in the next room or totally engrossed in Toy Story. Whatever the situation is, if you and your SO have a chance for some alone time and sex, I fully believe you should take it. Sure, there are other ways to get creative when it comes to sex as a parent, like finding places in your house to get it on where your kids can't find you or trying tips to have sex when you're co-sharing a bedroom with your newborn. But when your kids are distracted and you want to get it on, there are these 11 sex positions to try. They might sound pretty standard, but the benefits outweigh the non-kink factor, I swear.
The missionary position may sound boring, but it's an obvious choice if you want to be discreet. You can cover yourself with a blanket, you can make it look like you and your partner are simply hugging if a kid walks in, and it doesn't make a whole lot of noise.
I think the spooning position is always a good choice, but when kids are around, it's perfect. Quiet, easy, and can look innocent if a child happens to walk by, but it also feels really great and is one you can truly enjoy with kids around.
3. Straddle Chest To Chest
With your partner sitting in a chair or on the bed, you can straddle them and press your chests together in a hugging position. Another quiet one, but you can also make sure you're facing the door if you want to be sure to get off your partner in time if a kid walks by. You can even leave some clothes on for this one.
4. Standing Up
If you want sex that's a little bit naughtier, but won't make your bed squeak and your headboard rattle, try having sex standing up. It's super hot, and gives you a little more freedom to move around the bedroom. It's also a super fast one to move from if you have to attend to a screaming child.
5. Girl On Top
Even if it's in the middle of the night and your kids are sleeping in the next room, girl on top is perfect. What other position allows you to hop off your SO and roll back into the covers in less than two seconds when a kid asks for a glass of water?
6. Doggy Style
If you move to the floor, you can make doggy style even quieter. But it's also perfect for quickies and keeping clothes on if necessary. Wear a skirt or a dress, lean over the bed, and let your partner enter you for some hot, fast sex that your kid will never hear.
7. Reverse Cowgirl
You don't have to go the traditional route for reverse cowgirl to work in this scenario. Have your SO sit on the edge of the bed or a chair and you can get in the reverse cowgirl position for sex that doesn't require a lot of contorting, but still gives you the big O.
8. Tight Squeeze
If any kiddo happens to walk in, the tight squeeze position just looks like you two are hugging under the sheets. Major win, right? It's also great if you're trying to hit your G-spot and makes little noise. You can even muffle your own moans into your pillow.
9. Side Straddle
In general, it takes women a little longer to cum than men, so put yourself in a position like the side straddle where you can get off quickly with kids in the next room. Plus, it's more grinding than bouncing so it's nice and quiet.
It's like missionary, but a whole lot deeper as the bridge position requires your SO to lift up your hips to meet their pelvis. Remember, any position with your partner between your legs means you can quickly drop down into a nap position, so it's a definite win.
Sex doesn't have to have penetration, am I right? 69 is perfect for doing under the blankets, and because both of your mouths are a little busy, there won't be any loud moaning, groaning, or screaming.