11 Things About Newborns Every New Mom Thinks, But Doesn't Want To Admit

Ad failed to load

Nothing tests you more than parenthood, in my opinion. But, since the ability for some women (who either can and/or choose) to become a mom is nothing new and a bazillion past generations have seemed to pull it off, we seldom admit that motherhood can suck. Being a mom to a newborn can be a really weird, really frustrating and really exhausting time, and even though newborns can be wonderful and precious and adorable and all those great things, there are also things about newborns new moms don't want to admit to noticing or thinking or feeling.

There were some thoughts I had about my new baby that horrified me, mostly because I never heard anyone else express them openly and honestly and without apology. I’m hoping now, with more moms like me sharing the less-than-amazing sides of motherhood, parents will feel relieved to know that what they’re thinking and feeling is pretty normal. Of course, that is not to discount the severity of thoughts that have to do with self-harm or anything that would jeopardize the infant’s safety. It is imperative to seek help if those thoughts do consume you.

It may make me feel bad to think of my baby in any way but perfect and adorable, but that doesn’t mean I’m a bad mom. It just means I’m getting to know this new little being and maybe she isn’t making the greatest first impression, with the fussing and the crying and the constantly needing me at all hours of the day and night. When things don’t feel great and you're not thinking the greatest of things, it is ok to say so. I mean, it's perfectly fine to stop perpetuating the myth that motherhood is incomparably wonderful to any other aspect of being a human.

Ad failed to load

So for everyone who’s maybe thinking these things but not necessarily confessing them, I’ll just come out and say it: you're not alone. Here are 11 things about newborns I, as a new mom, didn’t want to admit to thinking:

Ad failed to load

They’re Ugly


“What a beautiful baby!” Stop lying to me. With her mottled skin, bug eyes, and disproportionately long fingers, I know she looks more like a plucked chicken than a human infant. A face only a mother could love is not just a thing we say. Luckily, kids grows out of the horrifying “new baby” look in a couple of weeks. At that point, I think it's perfectly acceptable to tell a new mom that her baby looks just like her. But, you know, until then? Nope. Just all the nope.

Their Tiny Bodies Scare Us


The explosive bowels. The spontaneous spit-up. So much grossness. The first few weeks of parenthood is like living an episode of Fear Factor. Plus, they're so tiny we tend to think that they're one mistake away from breaking into the tiniest of pieces. I, for one, was constantly afraid I was going to somehow hurt my baby if I held her the wrong way or picked her up the wrong way or just did something the wrong way. But, you know, I didn't, and chances are, you won't either.

They Make Us Question Our Competence


Discounting sports and trigonometry, there were few things I totally sucked at before becoming a mom. Once I had kids, I seemed to fail at everything. Diaper changes, getting them to latch on, swaddling them without waking them. It could have been soul-crushing, but I think that’s why (just at the breaking point of six weeks) babies develop the ability to smile. One toothless grin, and all my self-doubt evaporated. They loved me even though I got their head stuck in the onesie, every damn time.

Ad failed to load

Their Name Doesn’t Suit Them


For the first few weeks of my daughter’s life, I was convinced we had given her the wrong name. “We should have gone with Juliette,” I’d whisper to myself, scanning her face for any sign that would convince me her given name was the right choice. The thing is, I probably would have felt that way about any name. It takes a little while to get used to things, like a name, or a new 7-pound roommate you just brought home!

And, in the end, I was glad not to have gone with Juliette. Two friends subsequently named their daughters that!

They Make Us Jealous


It was cool that everyone wanted to come see the new baby but, if I'm being honest, it stung that they didn’t want to see me. I get it; there’s a brand new, adorable human they can cuddle and coo at, and I’m just me, with leaky boobs and no food in my house to offer guests.

They Confuse Us


Why is she crying? Is she wet? Hungry? Over-stimulated? Under-stimulated? Is it too noisy? Not noisy enough? What does this baby want??

Ad failed to load

They Make Us Cry


Ok, maybe it’s the postpartum stew of hormones wreaking havoc on our emotions, but sometimes, just looking at my newborn’s little face would trigger a crying outburst previously reserved for such heart-wrenching events as getting dumped or having my favorite ice cream flavor discontinued. It’s freaky to lose control like that, but it comes from a place of deep love (and exhaustion).

They Don’t Always Bring Out A Maternal Instinct


Not every mom forms that maternal bond upon delivery. There are a lot of feelings to sort through, and a ton of physical and emotional adjustments you have to make when, in an instant, you’ve become someone’s mother. I wasn’t seized by the feeling of being bonded to this baby immediately. In fact, I kind of didn’t recognize myself for a while. A mother? Me?

Everyone assumes that the baby is born and it’s an instant love-fest. We need the conversation about motherhood to include the notion that the mom-baby bond may take some time, and that mothers may need some help to form it. There is a huge stigma attached to the idea of not being in love with your baby the second it emerges but, it happens, and moms need to know they’re not alone.

You Want To Chew Their Toes


Once the maternal instinct kicked in, I suddenly needed to kiss my baby’s feet all the time. It’s one of life’s many mysteries.

Ad failed to load

The Majority Of Their Toys Are Useless


A doll talked and a chair vibrated and one of the mobiles played music, and none of it mattered to my kid. But would I dare share that with the generous souls who gifted us with all these things that I had never registered for? Of course not.

You Worry About Them


Behind every new mom’s beaming grin in that photo she just posted of her newborn, is fear. We may play it cool for Facebook, but don’t think for a second we aren’t thinking of the eight million ways our new baby might die. It is the most fragile item we’ve ever cared for and though most of us know, deep down, we are the right woman for the job, it doesn’t stop us from being gripped with worry.

Then, after you’ve made it through the first day, the first week, the first month and the baby graduates to the next clothing size and you might, maybe be sleeping for more than three consecutive hours, fear relaxes its grip on you. Some confidence might even start to take root. You think, “I’ve got this.” Trust me when I say: enjoy that feeling. I can tell you from experience, it probably won't stick around for very long.

Ad failed to load
Must Reads

21 Moms Share The Most Surprising Part About Having A C-Section

Honestly, I don't think we, as a culture, talk about C-sections nearly enough, especially considering so many mothers experience them. And because of a number of factors, the little we do talk about it always seems to be a familiar narrative: "It's n…
By Jamie Kenney

13 Yummy Instant Pot Recipes To Make Under 30 Minutes

A Instant Pot seems to be the must-have appliance in every kitchen these days. If you are anything like me and never knew the beauty of a Instant Pot, you are about to have your life changed. Basically, you put some ingredients into a pot, set the te…
By Kristin Manna

9 Things The First Six Months Of Motherhood Will Teach You About Your Baby

Personally, the first six months of motherhood was a mixed bag. I learned some harsh lessons about myself that made taking care of my baby seem overwhelming. For example, I was clueless, and no amount of research could help me feel like anything but …
By Steph Montgomery

These Photos Of North West Then & Now Will Take You On A Sweet Trip Down Memory Lane

When Kim Kardashian welcomed her first daughter, North West, with her husband, Kanye West, in 2013, her whole life was changed. The social media and reality TV star became a mom for the first time and her Instagram presence took a very adorable turn.…
By Casey Suglia

11 Photos You *Must* Take During The Last Days Of Your Pregnancy

During my first pregnancy, I took a photo each week to document my growing belly. I stopped around 36 weeks, though. I hated how I looked in those pictures, and didn't think I'd want to relive those moments. I was wrong. My second pregnancy was a dum…
By Steph Montgomery

This Is What It Means If Your Pregnancy Test Changes Overnight

The time between when a woman suspects she might be pregnant and when it is confirmed for sure is the longest of her life. Regardless of whether you are hoping for a positive or a negative result, the odds are good that you are sweating bullets when …
By Shannon Evans

6 Red Flags To Definitely Look Out For After Your Baby Falls

The first time my infant son tried to take a few steps, he tumbled and bumped his head on the coffee table. My blood turned to ice in my veins and I froze. There truly isn't anything quite like the feeling a parent gets when their little one gets hur…
By Sarah Bunton

These 9 Instant Pot Recipes Will Make Even The Pickiest Eater Happy At The Table

Like any parent, I've had my share of parenting hits and misses, but one of my favorite "wins" is my daughter's diverse palate. I don't even know if I can take credit for it, but I would like to think I had something to do with her love for lentils, …
By Caroline Shannon-Karasik

Turns Out, Kim Kardashian's Favorite Mom Products Look A Lot Like Your Own Faves

Being a mom is really hard work, especially for the first few months, and Kim Kardashian West is no different in that regard. Now the mother of three, Kardashian says that there are a few products she just can't live without when it comes to raising …
By Abi Berwager Schreier

Soda Might Hurt Your Fertility, Study Says, & Here's What You Can Do

Who doesn't love sugary drinks? I stopped drinking soda years ago, but I still love gulping down those fancy Starbucks coffee beverages. I don't have a big sweet tooth, but I am a sucker for sugar-sweetened beverages every now-and-then. Turns out, th…
By Annamarya Scaccia

10 Things No One Tells You About Having A Baby In Your 30s

If you're like me, you evaluate the pros and cons of any major life decision. When my husband and I were considering starting a family, I thought about my career, education, and financial stability. I wanted to know how a pregnancy and childbirth wou…
By Steph Montgomery

This Woman Thought She Had An Eyelash Stuck In Her Eye. Then It Moved.

I'm not a person who is easily icked out. As a kid, I collected bugs and thought I was going to be an entomologist and asked Santa Claus for ant farms and nets to catch bees. I'm still super curious about anything that flies and crawls, which might s…
By Karen Fratti

5 Red Flags Your Toddler Isn't Eating Enough

Toddlers are notoriously picky eaters, at least in my experience. You offer mashed potatoes, they want french fries. You give them crackers, they scream for chips. It's frustrating, to be sure, but it's usually their way of vying for independence. It…
By Candace Ganger

35 Moms Share The Most Disgusting Things Their Husbands Do

I'm a human being who revels in challenges. I like when people present me with one, especially if they don't think I can meet or succeed it, and I like taking a challenge on, especially if it's unexpected. So when I aimed to uncover the most disgusti…
By Jamie Kenney

How Having Kids In Your 20s Affects You Later In Life

For parents, like myself, who had kids in their 20s, there are a number of questions that come to mind. When you're deciding what your future will look like, you'll likely consider what this means for your health, career, and more down the line. Thin…
By Tessa Shull

Study: Drinking Two Glasses Of Wine A Day Is Good For Your Mind — Here's Why

There’s more scientific proof that a daily drink or two isn't necessarily a bad thing and could have a place in an overall healthy lifestyle. A new study out of the University of Rochester Medical Center (URMC) in New York found that — in mice, at le…
By Tiffany Thomas

8 "Mistakes" I'm Glad I Made During My First Pregnancy

As an adult, I've learned you never really stop hating being told what to do. When I was pregnant I was getting instructions at every turn, from doctors, relatives, and complete strangers on the subway. I would nod and smile but then go about making …
By Liza Wyles

Research Says Eating Carbs Can Lead To A Healthy Pregnancy, So Bring On The Pasta

In the world of me, no food is better than bread. I know it's supposed to be pretty terrible for you, high in calories, low in protein, and full of that modern-day demon, gluten... but guys, it's really yummy. Especially warm out of the oven, when th…
By Jen McGuire

These Photos Of Prince George Then & Now Will Give You Serious Baby Fever

The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are expecting their third child in Spring 2018. With all of the excitement surrounding the new baby, it's easy to forget all of the good times that have already passed. The couple's eldest is already well into the sc…
By Azure Hall

This Is, Hands Down, The *Grossest* Thing Babies Do Inside The Womb

Your baby's life in the womb may be safe and warm, but it's also kind of grody. Seriously, the whole process of growing into a human being includes more than a few icky moments along the way. But this is the grossest thing babies do inside the womb b…
By Lindsay E. Mack