If I'm being honest (something I constantly strive to be) I must admit that I didn't like being pregnant. Like, at all. In fact, I couldn't stand being pregnant. Not only did I spend the majority of my pregnancy sick, and dealt with some severe pregnancy complications, I didn't really feel all that great about my body. Thankfully, I had a fantastic partner who just so happened to do all the things every grown-ass man does to help his pregnant partner feel great about her body, so those feelings of inadequacy or just, well, unattractiveness, were short lived. Some of the things my partner did were big; some of the things were small; some of the things didn't seem to make a difference, but they all helped me feel better about a body that I didn't feel at home in.
That's arguably one of the most difficult parts of pregnancy; sharing an ever-changing body with someone else. I was no longer in control of my body or the things that it was doing to be able to grow and sustain another life, and the changes my body was experiencing left me feeling like a stranger in my own skin. I felt along in this experience, as my partner is unable to ever experience pregnancy for himself.
Thankfully, a grown-ass man doesn't need to know what pregnancy is like in order to assist his pregnant partner in feeling better about her body throughout the various stages of gestation. Even the most body-positive woman can start doubting herself when she's pregnant and feeling anything but confident or attractive or just like herself, which means partners of pregnant women need to step up and remind their significant other that they really are all of those things, and more. So, if you're a grown-ass man with a pregnant partner, make sure you do these 11 things so your mom-to-be remembers that her body is just as amazing as she is.
He Tells Her She Looks Fantastic
Sure, this is a surface level compliment that doesn't even begin to dive into the many incredible things her body is actually doing, but it does help to hear that you look great. Chances are, any and all pregnant women aren't actually feeling all that great, and are still trying to come to terms with those different feelings and changes and pregnancy side effects and how she looks, now that her body is changing. Telling your pregnant partner that she looks gorgeous and beautiful and incredible and just fantastic, is going to help. Trust me.
He Researches All The Amazing Things Her Body Is Doing
I, for one, needed a constant reminder that even though my body felt like garbage, it was doing an absolutely incredible thing. I needed to know that while my head as in the toilet and I was throwing up every hour of every day, it was because I was growing another human life and the hormones were raging and my body was actually doing what it it is supposed to be doing. A grown-ass man is going to know what his partner's body is going through, and reminder that it's truly an amazing thing, even when it doesn't feel that way.
He Reminds Her Of Her Body's Functionality
I don't know about you, dear pregnant and/or used to be pregnant reader, but it was really difficult for me to get past how different my body looked. I just didn't like feeling larger than normal, and it was honestly hard for me to feel comfortable in a body I didn't know or recognized. Thankfully, my grown-ass man reminded me that how my body looked, didn't hold a candle to what my body was actually doing. The functionality of my body; the things it was doing without me really even knowing; the way that it was changing to facilitate another life. I mean, all those things are worth marveling at.
What a woman's body does, is far more important than how a woman's body looks.
He Doesn't Encourage Her To "Worry About The Weight"
As women in a predominantly patriarchal society, held to unrealistic beauty standards and asked (if not blatantly told) to stay within a certain weight class, it can be difficult to not worry about the number of pounds you're putting on when you're pregnant. A grown-ass man is going to make sure that his partner doesn't care about the extra pounds, as long as the weight she is gaining is healthy and in accordance with the amount of weight she is being asked to gain by her doctor/midwife/doula.
He Only Keeps Track Of Pounds Gained For Doctor/Midwife/Doula Visits
Which is also why a grown-ass man isn't going to keep track of how much she his pregnant partner is gaining, aside from making sure that he knows what to tell the doctor/midwife/doula at the next appointment. I remember refusing to get on a scale until I was at my doctor's office, and my partner would write down how much weight I was gaining and making sure that my body, and my baby, were growing accordingly.
It was honestly pretty fantastic (not to mention healthy) to look at weight from a purely functional standpoint, and not one in which my ability to gain weight was being persecuted or judged.
He's Not Afraid Of Pregnancy Sex
Look, I can understand that pregnancy sex can be somewhat awkward and there are some concerns as to what is safe and what isn't. However, a grown-ass man will know that, unless instructed by a doctor, it is completely safe to have sex with your pregnant partner. So, if your pregnant partner is feeling down and wants to have sex with you (and you want to have sex with her, because consent is a two-way street) a grown-ass man isn't going to be "afraid" or "grossed out" by pregnancy sex. Honestly, you might just find that pregnancy sex was the best sex of your life.
He Exercises/Does Physical Activities With Her
Just because a woman is pregnant, doesn't mean she's a fragile egg that is incapable of doing any and all physical activity. While it is always recommended that you consult your doctor/midwife/doula before you consider strenuous physical activity, once you get the go-ahead, a grown-ass man is going to work out with his pregnant partner, or go outside for a hike with his pregnant partner, or just walk around the block with his pregnant partner.
I can't tell you how much it helped me feel better about my pregnant body, when I was outside moving it around. The long walks that my partner and I took when I was pregnant were a godsend.
He Compliments Her (And Means It) Regularly
Honestly, a well-timed and sincere compliment can go a long way. Pregnancy hormones are relentless and even when you find yourself feeling beautiful and powerful and one with your body, that feeling can leave you as quickly as it came. Reminding your partner that she is wonderful and capable and smart and fantastic and a great partner who is going to be a fantastic mother, can go a long way to just boost her overall self-confidence.
He Reminds Her Of How Powerful Her Body Is...
A pregnant woman's body (hell, any woman's body) is a powerful entity capable of extraordinary things. Remind her of that, because when she's constipated and exhausted and nauseas, she might not necessarily be thinking about how powerful she is.
...And How Capable Her Body Is
I was pretty scared when I was pregnant. I didn't know if my body could handle the later months of pregnancy, or the labor and delivery that were sure to follow. It was so helpful to hear my partner believe in me and my body, and remind me that my body can absolutely handle pregnancy and can absolutely handle labor and delivery, even after we went through our fair share of pregnancy complications, and even a loss at 19 weeks.
He Marvels At The Awe-Inspiring Thing Her Body Is Doing
Simply put, pregnancy is really freakin' amazing and any grown-ass man would be in absolute awe of the insane things his pregnant partner's body is doing on a daily basis. Even when she's sleeping, she's growing and sustaining a human life. That's amazing, you guys.