11 Things Lazy Moms Are Constantly Being Judged For (And Why They Shouldn't Be)
I'm fairly certain that most "lazy moms" don't start out that way. I know I certainly didn't. Quite the opposite, in fact: I was making baby food, trying to come up with fun new crafts, and even attempting to bake with my daughter. Having my second kid pretty much cured me of my ridiculously high and unattainable standards or plans. So many of the moms I know (including myself) whom society might call "lazy," are really just trying to survive. There are things lazy moms are constantly being judged for that really just prove that most moms are simply attempting to hold on to their sanity through and during the roughest parts of parenthood.
Let's be serious, though. It's not like we're talking about parents sending their preschool kids to the store to pick up groceries so they can play Pokémon GO. It's just that, well, we have lowered our expectations to a reasonable level. For example, in 10 years, do you think your kids will remember that you put their toys away every single night? Do you think they'll remember that you ordered pizza every week, and that it will be a bad thing, in their memories? Probably not.
So, honestly, I'm fine with people calling me a "lazy mom," and I've learned to handle certain people judging me for the things I do. As far as I'm concerned, the perfectly tidy house and the perfectly prepared meals will leave my kids with a perfectly crazy and resentful mom. Sign me up for lazy, not crazy, even if it means I'll be judged for the following things:
Serving Basic, No Frills Meals
I sometimes see posts from friends who serve their kids pad thai or quiche for dinner and I think to myself, "What did I do wrong that left me with kids who won't eat delicious meals like that?" Then I realize that it's far less difficult to serve them carrot sticks, rice, and plain chicken, which they prefer.
Not Cleaning Up After The Kids Every Night
I am all for putting toys away, and even get my kids involved. However, you won't find me cleaning their crap up every single night after they go to bed. I have other things to do (usually more writing), and they're just going to pull it all out again tomorrow.
Leaving The Beds Unmade
Oh, wait, you still make your bed? Haven't you heard that it can actually contribute to a burgeoning house mite population? So, I mean, you can keep your tidy beds, I'm going to let mine "air out."
Not Participating In Crafts
I do participate with some crafts, especially those I initiate and feel comfortable facilitating. However, it's good to foster independence in your kids, and to be honest, I tend to be a control freak when I'm involved, anyway.
Letting The Kids Watch TV So Things Can Get Done
Do I let the kids watch an extra episode of Paw Patrol, so that I can meet a writing deadline, or finally chop some vegetables for dinner? You'd better believe I do. Judge away, haters.
Ordering Take Out
Some days, I just don't have it in me to cook. Other days, I've ran out of time to go grocery shopping, leaving me with absolutely nothing in the fridge. I'd like to think that my 2-year-old son is just really smart, when he hears the doorbell ring and yells, "Pizza!" but the reality is that I've ordered out enough times for him to sense a pattern. Don't worry, I judge myself a little bit, too.
Letting The Kids Choose Their Own (Mismatched) Clothes
You can always see my daughter from a mile away, because she's the one wearing turquoise shorts with royal blue shirt. I will shake my head when she chooses her outfit, but I like to think that her experimentation with color will allow her to be more creative in the rest of her life. Who needs matching shoes and hairbands anyway, right?
Giving The Kids Fewer Baths
In all honesty, there's really no need to give our kid a bath every single night (unless they spend all day, every day, in a vat of mud). It's actually better for your hair and skin to be exposed to less water, so I feel absolutely fine giving my kids two baths per week.
Not Putting Away The Laundry
I know it's far easier to put clothes in their place, so I don't have to spend 10 minutes every morning searching for a clean pair of underwear for my daughter, but laundry always comes last on the priority list. I'm sure there are people out there who are judging my kids' wrinkly clothes.
Letting The Dishes Pile Up
I know there are people out there who have some crazy rule about putting things directly in the dishwasher, not on the counter, but I am not one of those people. I am also not one of the people who practices the "clean as you cook" method.
I am for sure guilty of co-sleeping because, for us, it was "easier," so I guess you could call that "laziness" but I just call it smart. I like to call it "self-preservation," personally, because the idea of staying up for an extra 25 minutes trying to get my baby to sleep, especially after breastfeeding, was just not something I was interested in participating in, considering how exhausted I already was.