Fotolia

11 Things People Should Stop Saying About Millennial Moms

By
Share
Ad failed to load

From the time I first heard the term "Millennial" I heard it as a pejorative. While it's technical definition is someone born roughly between 1980 and 2000, it has become a shorthand to describe someone who is whiny, thin-skinned, lazy, entitled, and self-absorbed. So, yeah, there are things people should stop saying about Millennial moms, because it's basically all nonsense and it's saying a whole lot more about you than it is about us.

While pop-culture often portrays and perceives Millennials as perpetually in their late teens to early-20s, we run the gamut from 16 to 36 and 90 percent of babies born today are born to Millennial moms. Which means we simultaneously get judgment moms always get plus judgment for being Millennials. Let's be clear here for a second, though: it's not just the Baby Boomers and Gen-Xers who are giving the Millennial moms crap. It's other Millennial moms! It's absurd to me, but there's this weird cadre of self-loathing Millennials who refuse to identify with their peers because, um, actually I don't know what the "because" is. I guess they've bought into the hype that we're all losers and they're identifying with the people who have perpetuated those completely unfounded ideas to feel somehow superior. (See also Phyllis Schlafly and Uncle Ruckus.)

So much of the general judgment moms have faced since the beginning of forever are currently being attributed to a mom's Millennial status. Please, oh, please, I'm begging you to knock it off. It's unnecessary. It's unfounded. It's ridiculous. So if you all could just stop suggesting the following, that would be wonderful:

Ad failed to load

We're Entitled And Raising Entitled Children

GIPHY

Oh, this one is my favorite. "Millennials are entitled." It's applied to all Millennials, but Millennial moms get to hear how much our own selfish, spoiled attitudes are ruining our children and future generations. We're accused of wanting everything but disdaining the idea of wanting to work for it, sort of like every other generation before us. Unlike our parents and possibly grandparents, however, we Millennials are facing the difficult combination of a crappy economy (not pointing fingers there, though I could); rising education, rent, and childcare price tags; stagnant wages; and decreased access to social programs Baby Boomers (in particular) enjoyed that gave them a hand up. (Illustrated brilliantly over the years by one of my favorite memes, "Old Economy Steve.")

Let's please just kill this idea, OK? We are no more entitled than any generation that came before us, and our children are not "doomed."

Our Kids Are The Boss Of Us

GIPHY

I get this a lot, and it's the worst. A lot of Millennial parents practice (or kind of practice) gentle parenting, which my colleague Danielle Campoamor defines as "the choice to parent with empathy, respect, understanding and boundaries." But, somehow, the idea of respecting your child and trying to see where they are coming from before you move forward is seen by many as "coddling."

Just because we may take a different approach and our rules are different from your rules, doesn't mean we're coddling. You know who doesn't think my kids are in charge of me? My kids. My 5-year-old son has told me (more than once) how unfair it is that we don't listen to his rules. My children know who's in charge, and that's pretty much all I care about.

We Just Need To Hit Our Kids Once In A While

GIPHY

No. Stop. Just stop talking. I hate this so much. So first of all, Millennials' views on spanking are basically identically to those of previous generations of parents. So all of those ill-behaved, entitled brats you feel would be cured with a swat on the butt? There is a decent chance they have gotten a swat on the butt and it didn't cure them of their disrespectful tomfoolery. (OMG, I can't believe your super-scientific assessment was flawed!) But above and beyond that, for those of us who don't spank our kids, we have our reasons, and they're backed by a robust body of research.

Ad failed to load

We're Always On Our Phones

GIPHY

Do you know why parents today always seem to be on their phones? Because literally everything is on our phones. Our news, our conversations with friends, family, and professional contacts, our shopping, our reading material, our day planners, our work, our emails, picture of our children: all the stuff moms have been juggling for decades that you haven't been judging them for (oh, who are we kidding — you've always been judging) is conveniently located in one handy-dandy device. So save the pearl clutching about technology.

We're Helicopter Parents

Imgix

Well, maybe if your generation didn't needlessly terrify us about "stranger danger" we would feel better about letting our kids go free-range. Of course, even if we are chill with being more permissive with our kids, we have to worry about well-meaning bystanders who thing they're helping children by calling the cops on parents who let them go to a park by themselves. So we're seriously in a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" ouroboros of obnoxious judgment.

Our Problem Is That Everyone Got A Trophy When We Were Kids, And We're Doing The Same With Our Children

GIPHY

OMG you were the ones who gave us these goddamn trophies that we didn't even ask for! Would you please stop lording them over us and acting like the participation trophy is some sort of Millennial horcrux? I don't even know where my assorted participation acknowledgments are. I promise you that 95 percent of us never cared about them in the first place. Neither they, nor the larger idea that kids are worthy of praise, contributed to a generational curse of entitlement (which, as stated above, is a myth).

If us Millennial parents praise our kids, and don't require them to jump through hoops for our love and a sense of self-esteem, it's not going to ruin them, either.

Ad failed to load

We Need To Stop Posting On Social Media

GIPHY

Every parent has to decide for themselves how much of their lives (and their children's lives) they care to post on social media, and whatever they decide is really none of your business. A defining characteristic of the Millennial generation is our interaction with social media so, not to be flippant or anything, but this is sort of our area of expertise.

How about I make a deal with you? I'll post fewer pictures of my kids, if you stop posting fake news.

We Need To Stop Worrying About What Our Kids Are Eating

GIPHY

Compared to past generations, Millennials prioritize healthy eating. As such, Millennial moms are generally pickier about what they feed their own children. Which, anecdotally, leads a lot parents and grandparents, and whoever else, to say things like, "Oh, let the baby have some cake!" or, "They're not really allergic to peanuts! Let them try some peanut butter!" or, "Put cereal in that baby's bottle!"

Guys. Stop. Stop being weird about what other people eat. If my 3-month-old baby doesn't have chocolate ice cream, they're not going to live a sad life of deprivation and joylessness. Please just trust me on on this one.

We're Being Paranoid Because "I Did [Insert Some Terrifying Thing Here] And I Survived"

GIPHY

Well, you did, but actually a lot of you didn't in some cases. For example, since 1977 (when car seat safety was, let's generously call it "lax"), fatal car crashes for passengers under the age of 13 have gone from more than 1,400 per year to just over 600 in 2014. That's a massive decline. Sure, you could say, "Well it's still not a whole lot of kids dying in car crashes when you look at the total population," and you're right. Statistically, even a child in 1977 was probably going to go through a childhood of not wearing a seat belt (much less using a car seat) and come out OK. But for the 800 families whose child made it in 2014 that didn't in 1977, the difference is huge.

So the little extra hassle of making sure your child is in the right safety restraints is well worth the (honestly minimal) effort.

Ad failed to load

We Need To Stop Being Offended By "Every Little Thing"

GIPHY

I am regularly accused of being an "oversensitive Millennial" who is "offended by everything." I'm not, I'm just going to call you out on the gender-normative, racist, homophobic, and otherwise judgmental crap you say, especially when it's aimed in the direction of my children. Millennials are aware and engaged and that influences how we parent.

Compare Us To Moms "Back In The Day"

Storage

Because stop. The only thing that has changed less over the years than kids, are mothers. We love our children and worry about them and do our damn best just like we have since before we walked on two legs. The details change, but the gig has been unchanged for thousands of years.

So if you see Millennial moms doing something you don't like, chances are moms were judged for the same basic thing since before we and our smart phones were ever on the scene.

Ad failed to load
Must Reads

6 Early Signs You're Going To Have A Short Labor, According To Experts

As far as I'm concerned, a short labor is right up there with winning the lottery in terms of lucky life events. (And when I was actually in labor, I would absolutely have traded a bucketful of lottery winnings for a speedier birth.) While some women…
By Kelly Mullen-McWilliams

Kids Will Love These TV Shows & Movies Coming To Netflix In March

You can always count on Netflix to keep it fresh: though there are already so many movies and shows to choose from, every month there's an influx of new content to keep your entire family entertained. As February enters its final weeks, it's time to …
By Megan Walsh

Here Are 10 Ways To Boost Your Baby's Immunity To The Flu

As I'm sure you've read in the thousands upon thousands of articles written about it this winter, the flu is spreading like wildfire and it's bad. Really bad. This strand of flu is the worst we've had in a very long time and it's the most widespread,…
By Abi Berwager Schreier

Khloé Kardashian Asked Twitter About Her Bump, & Moms Totally Delivered

Like her younger sister Kylie Jenner, Khloé Kardashian managed to keep most of her pregnancy a sort-of secret. But unlike Jenner, Kardashian chose to publicly announce her pregnancy several months before the baby's due date. While there's no wrong wa…
By Sophie Hirsh

21 Moms Share The Most Surprising Part About Having A C-Section

Honestly, I don't think we, as a culture, talk about C-sections nearly enough, especially considering so many mothers experience them. And because of a number of factors, the little we do talk about it always seems to be a familiar narrative: "It's n…
By Jamie Kenney

13 Yummy Instant Pot Recipes To Make Under 30 Minutes

An Instant Pot seems to be the must-have appliance in every kitchen these days. If you are anything like me and never knew the beauty of a Instant Pot, you are about to have your life changed. Basically, you put some ingredients into a pot, set the t…
By Kristin Manna

9 Things The First Six Months Of Motherhood Will Teach You About Your Baby

Personally, the first six months of motherhood was a mixed bag. I learned some harsh lessons about myself that made taking care of my baby seem overwhelming. For example, I was clueless, and no amount of research could help me feel like anything but …
By Steph Montgomery

11 Photos You *Must* Take During The Last Days Of Your Pregnancy

During my first pregnancy, I took a photo each week to document my growing belly. I stopped around 36 weeks, though. I hated how I looked in those pictures, and didn't think I'd want to relive those moments. I was wrong. My second pregnancy was a dum…
By Steph Montgomery

6 Red Flags To Definitely Look Out For After Your Baby Falls

The first time my infant son tried to take a few steps, he tumbled and bumped his head on the coffee table. My blood turned to ice in my veins and I froze. There truly isn't anything quite like the feeling a parent gets when their little one gets hur…
By Sarah Bunton

These 9 Instant Pot Recipes Will Make Even The Pickiest Eater Happy At The Table

Like any parent, I've had my share of parenting hits and misses, but one of my favorite "wins" is my daughter's diverse palate. I don't even know if I can take credit for it, but I would like to think I had something to do with her love for lentils, …
By Caroline Shannon-Karasik

Turns Out, Kim Kardashian's Favorite Mom Products Look A Lot Like Your Own Faves

Being a mom is really hard work, especially for the first few months, and Kim Kardashian West is no different in that regard. Now the mother of three, Kardashian says that there are a few products she just can't live without when it comes to raising …
By Abi Berwager Schreier

10 Things No One Tells You About Having A Baby In Your 30s

If you're like me, you evaluate the pros and cons of any major life decision. When my husband and I were considering starting a family, I thought about my career, education, and financial stability. I wanted to know how a pregnancy and childbirth wou…
By Steph Montgomery

Soda Might Hurt Your Fertility, Study Says, & Here's What You Can Do

Who doesn't love sugary drinks? I stopped drinking soda years ago, but I still love gulping down those fancy Starbucks coffee beverages. I don't have a big sweet tooth, but I am a sucker for sugar-sweetened beverages every now-and-then. Turns out, th…
By Annamarya Scaccia

5 Red Flags Your Toddler Isn't Eating Enough

Toddlers are notoriously picky eaters, at least in my experience. You offer mashed potatoes, they want french fries. You give them crackers, they scream for chips. It's frustrating, to be sure, but it's usually their way of vying for independence. It…
By Candace Ganger

35 Moms Share The Most Disgusting Things Their Husbands Do

I'm a human being who revels in challenges. I like when people present me with one, especially if they don't think I can meet or succeed it, and I like taking a challenge on, especially if it's unexpected. So when I aimed to uncover the most disgusti…
By Jamie Kenney

How Having Kids In Your 20s Affects You Later In Life

For parents, like myself, who had kids in their 20s, there are a number of questions that come to mind. When you're deciding what your future will look like, you'll likely consider what this means for your health, career, and more down the line. Thin…
By Tessa Shull

Study: Drinking Two Glasses Of Wine A Day Is Good For Your Mind — Here's Why

There’s more scientific proof that a daily drink or two isn't necessarily a bad thing and could have a place in an overall healthy lifestyle. A new study out of the University of Rochester Medical Center (URMC) in New York found that — in mice, at le…
By Tiffany Thomas

Research Says Eating Carbs Can Lead To A Healthy Pregnancy, So Bring On The Pasta

In the world of me, no food is better than bread. I know it's supposed to be pretty terrible for you, high in calories, low in protein, and full of that modern-day demon, gluten... but guys, it's really yummy. Especially warm out of the oven, when th…
By Jen McGuire

These Photos Of Prince George Then & Now Will Give You Serious Baby Fever

The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are expecting their third child in Spring 2018. With all of the excitement surrounding the new baby, it's easy to forget all of the good times that have already passed. The couple's eldest is already well into the sc…
By Azure Hall

This Is, Hands Down, The *Grossest* Thing Babies Do Inside The Womb

Your baby's life in the womb may be safe and warm, but it's also kind of grody. Seriously, the whole process of growing into a human being includes more than a few icky moments along the way. But this is the grossest thing babies do inside the womb b…
By Lindsay E. Mack