Truth time: Cher Horowitz is my total breastfeeding spirit animal. It might seem like somewhat of a stretch, especially for our '90s loving, nostalgic minds, but Clueless completely captures what it's like to breastfeed. The confusion; the questionable yet important fashion choices; thinking you know what you're doing but realizing you totally don't; having intense, conflicting feelings for Paul Rudd? I mean, if that's not breastfeeding, I don't know what is.
Okay, perhaps I'm slightly nostalgic for this '90s classic and inclined to give it a bit more credit than necessary in this one particular area that has dominated my mom-life for two years, but seriously, there is a connection there. I can't say I agree with all of Alicia Silverstone's stances on parenthood, but I can definitely endorse her performance as Cher. The full spectrum of emotions that we experience during the 100 minutes of entertainment bliss that is this classic, cinematic masterpiece, rivals what I encountered during those late night feedings and in the waiting room of my lactation consultant's office and in my office's break room, pumping multiple times a day.
Let's take a closer look at just how Clueless nails what it's like to be a breastfeeding mom (who may or may not think about Paul Rudd on a daily basis that, you know, is arguably more than necessary).
The Fear That It Won't Work Out
Was anyone else warned (countless times) about the potential challenges of breastfeeding? I chose to remain (naively) hopeful, but ultimately, I was rocked by how hard it was.
The Basic Reality Of Breastfeeding
Thankfully, much like Amber's nose eventually healed, I eventually got my social life back. However, again, like Amber's nose, it's not quite the way it was before.
The Mistakes That Are Inevitably Made
Trying to remember which side you last nursed on or where you left your nursing pillow or spilling pumped milk on the kitchen floor only to be left in a puddle of your own tears? Yeah, those mistakes will probably (read: definitely) happen. It's impossible to do everything perfectly. After all, you're not a wizard (or Cher's dad).
Thinking You Have It Under Control, But Definitely Not Actually Having It Under Control
The hospital nurses, despite their best intentions, totally gave me false hope. I left the hospital thinking I was totally a nursing expert and, surprise, I was anything but a pro once I arrived home and was no longer under the care of, well, actual experts.
When Anyone Else Tries To Go Near Your Breasts In Between Feedings
Ugh, as if. I don't care if you're a lactation consultant or my partner. Sorry.
When You Think You Have Latch Figured Out, But Then You Realize You Definitely Don't
"How else will my baby eat if I can't get my nipple into his mouth right this very second? Please help, I don't want him to starve. I can't just go into the kitchen and rearrange things in order to prepare him food." Yes, this is a conversation I had with myself, or my partner, multiple times while breastfeeding.
When Your Baby Gets Feisty Despite Your Best Efforts To Soothe Their Hunger
Granted, my kid has no idea what I'm saying, but still. I feel good saying it.
When You're Finally Feel Like You're Getting The Hang Of Six Feedings A Day
I feel as snappy as Tai in floral overalls. It's not the worst feeling in the world to make it through six feedings and still have energy to spare. And by energy, I mean managing to stay awake for one viewing of Clueless. One.
When You Are Counting Down The Minutes Until Your Baby's Next Feeding
He's due to eat in eleven minutes. Can we wrap this up?
How You Feel About Nursing Tops
OK, there are some exceptions, I can totally admit that, but for the most part, I felt like a full-on Monet.
When A Friend Who Also Struggled With Breastfeeding Hears That It's Getting Better
As a true friend, she won't be jealous of us, even though she knows how that feels, too.