Parents are tired, sleep deprived, and bumbling their way through each day. The expectation to remember your partners name, beyond what your kid calls them, is feasibly too much to ask. Sure, I guess it can sound a little creepy for an adult to call another adult a word usually reserved for children. You could argue it brings up all sorts of issues of power, perceived authority, and even sexism. However, when I asked dads to share the names they call their partners instead of "mommy," I realized that sometimes a name is just a name. Plus, and at the very least, perhaps I might be able to pick up a new moniker my husband can start using.
I'll admit that I'm totally guilty of calling my child's dad "daddy" in the past, and he has called me "mommy" a time or two as well. Mostly for convenience and clarity, to be sure, but yeah, we've done it. My son went through a period of calling me and my husband by our first names and it was just a little too heartbreaking. I love being a mom and I wasn't ready to lose my title in exchange for my actual name. I actually encouraged my husband to call me "mommy" to get my child to start using it again and, thankfully, it worked.
However, if you would rather your partner called you something other than "mommy," I get it. Again, it's kind of creepy and a little weird and we all have our unique preferences when it comes to identity. So, with that in mind, here are a few alternatives real dads use that your partner could pick up, too.
"I call my wife by her first name. It's that simple."
"I call her 'darling' and now our kid calls us both 'darling,' too."
"I love cutesy names so I call her 'cupcake' and our daughter is 'pumpkin.' I guess I have a food obsession!"
"I will say 'your mom' because it's less confusing than calling her by her real name, but sometimes it sounds like I am mad when I am not."
"I call my wife 'precious,' because she is."
"I call her by her initials. No one else does, so it makes it feel special between the two of us."
"I call my kid's mom by her name. We are not together and it feels really weird to call her 'mommy,' like I am trying to be too familiar or something."
"I do sometimes call her 'mommy,' but it's usually a slip of the tongue and I try not to because I find it a bit slimy. I normally call her 'sweetie,' or something similar."
"I call her 'boss' because she is the boss around our home!"
"We got together when we were teenagers, so I call her by her high school nickname. No one else knows her by that name so it feels like a secret code and it's special."
"I call her 'seven.' We met on the 7th day of the month and got married on July 7, 2007."
"I call her 'mama,' but I called her that before we had a baby. Honestly, I think it's sexy."