Of course, every new mom should recognize and celebrate and bask in her victories. In a baby’s first week at home, there are moments to take pride in and appreciate, to be sure. I mean, the mere fact that a baby is home is reason enough to throw all the parties and shout from the rooftops until your voice goes horse. Actually, hold up, that could complicate things a bit since, according to my birthing class instructor, a mom’s voice is recognizable to a newborn, so I’d hate to get in the way of that developing bond. Let’s stop just short of shouting and way before your voice goes, please. That would work better for everyone. (Plus, chances are the baby is sleeping.)
However, what’s funny about these victories is that they often give us (or, um, they gave me) the impression that everything is under control. Perhaps that was the case for other moms and they had motherhood down like bosses and from the very beginning, but for me I, um, didn't. My feelings of complete dominance over my new life as a parent never lasted very long, and even now that I have a two-year-old, I’m still learning and growing and adapting to this whole mom thing.
Those first achievements, while crucial and important to my transition to motherhood and in building up my confidence as a mom, did not mean that there weren’t plenty more experiences ahead that totally knocked me down a few (dozen) high chair rungs. In the end, you simply take the good with the bad and remember to remain humble. When you see another mom struggling and you're feeling like you are mistake-free, just remember that another foible is, inevitably, right around the corner.
When Your Baby Falls Asleep On You
I'm not trying to be a Debbie Downer, but babies apparently fall asleep on anything warm and breathing. At least mine did. I thought it was my motherly touch and I was a baby whisper but, really, it was the fact that my son was a newborn. Trust me, eventually, you'll have problems getting your kid to get some sleep.
When You Think Your Baby Has Latched
It's been a couple years and I'm still sensitive about this one, if I'm being honest. I thought my baby was breastfeeding comfortably for the first few days of his life. Spoiler alert: he wasn't.
When You Change A Diaper Without Tears
Diapers, especially full ones, are overwhelming. Diapers, especially full ones, that need changing in the middle of the night when you haven't slept for days and you can't find the wipes, are the stuff that keep tissue companies in business.
When You Secure The Onesie Snaps Accurately And On The First Try
I can think of at least a few other fasteners that would be easier than tiny snaps, including but not limited to: velcro, laces, glue, the half-velcro/half-sticker stuff that comes on disposable diapers. I mean, the options are practically endless.
When The Spit-Up Lands On The Burp Cloth
Actually, I'm not a pretty sure if a baby spits up enough times in the vicinity of some burps cloths, at some point it will land on the burp cloth. That's just science.
When You Manage To Wake Up Before The Next Feeding
And not, like, an insane amount of time before the feeding because that would eat into your rest time. I mean like when there's just a few quiet minutes before the baby cries when you can get your bearings and blink a little.
When The Diaper You Changed Stays Put Even After It Gets Really, Really Full
There's no reason for this, aside from your own superior diapering skills. (And, of course, the fact that you've been granted a gentle gift from the powers that be.)
For Fellow Boy Moms: When Your Baby Boy Pees During A Diaper Change And You Stop It From Hitting The Walls
My apologies, I'm not sure if there's an equivalent for baby girls, as I do not have a baby girl (or have ever had a baby girl) and cannot corroborate. But if there is, I'm sure you deserve to celebrate it hard.
When You Don’t Freak Out Over Meconium, Because You Read A Baby Book Or Two
It's like, "Hey, look at me. I know the difference between baby poo and tar. Whoop whoop."
When You Get Your Baby To Stop Crying By Singing And Rocking
You thought there would be no point in your life when you felt more like Beyonce than that 2012 Bachelorette Party Extravaganza. You were wrong.
When You Do A Load of Laundry
For being so tiny, onesies and burp cloths sure can take up a ton of space in a hamper. And a washing machine. And A closet. And an entire home.
When You Do Something Intentional While The Baby Naps, And You Finish Before They Wake Up
It's like, "I just filled out one half-page of a baby book, do you want an autograph?"
When You Manage To Leave The House And Run An Errand
Never mind that it took you an hour and forty-five minutes to get out the door. The point is that you got out the door, and this alone deserves confetti.