If loving Dirty Dancing is wrong, I will never, ever be right. It's the perfect blend of nostalgia, feels, music, Patrick Swayze's chest, and sexy PG-13 debauchery to really make it a quintessential coming-of-age story. Turns out, it's also the perfect metaphor for what it's like to be a new mom. The raw emotions; the confusion; the questionable choices made with the best of intentions; the awkward sister singing. I mean, it's all right there. Who could have guessed that a movie released in 1987, about the '60s, would be so relevant in 2016? I mean, there's even a pregnancy sub-plot, which hey, is how motherhood (sometimes) starts.
If that's not proof enough, I've compiled a few other key examples of how Baby's (her name is Baby, you guys. Seriously. Maybe we should just stop here. Like, case closed and point clearly made.) journey is a perfect parallel for those early days of parenthood. So, give your tired arms a break (I know you have them, you've been rocking a baby for the last three hours) and take a break from cleaning another bottle or another nursing bra or another anything, and join me on a musical journey through the beginnings of motherhood. As they say, it'll be the "time of your life."
Someone, At Some Point, Wil Remind You Where Your Baby Should (And Should Not) Go
Babies don't like corners, or so I'm told. They like to look out and see what's going on in the world.
You Will Constantly Do Things That You Hope No One Else Sees
Some, but not all of them, will involve your baby's bodily fluids. Some of them will involve your own. Either way, you'll be glad no one saw.
When Your Lactation Consultant Helps You Figure Everything out
The above is pretty much live* footage of me getting the hang of breastfeeding, right down the attire of everyone who was in the room at the time.
You Will Spend A Lot Of Time On The Floor
I cannot count the number of times I crawled toward my baby. Granted, it was totally not in sexy desperation, but still.
You Will Screw Up And It Will Feel Like A Big Deal But Everyone Will Be Over It Shortly
It's especially fine because the horrible waiter from Yale Medical School gets what's coming to him anyways. Right, Robbie?
When Your Kid Needs You But You Are So Tired You Can Barely Move
In related news, Baby Houseman's neck flexibility is impressive. Don't forget to add "neck stretches" to your list of things to do (but probably won't have time for because you have small children).
When You Realize You've Actually Used Something You Read About In A Parenting Book
In my case, it often had to do with rashes. My go-to parenting book had a (gross) collage of pictures of common baby rashes that, as cringe-worthy as it was, brought me hours (and I mean hours) of peace and comfort.
Watching Your Partner Go Get Your Child When There's Crying, So You Don't Have To
It's the most amazing thing in the world, I can't even put it into words. Patrick Swayze's ability to use rhythmic body language only scratches the surface of the glory that is your partner getting your baby so you can continue to relax and, you know, not move.
(He's Still Going)
Seriously. I'm a puddle on the floor.
When You Hang Out With Mom Friends Who Have Kids Older Than Yours
They are always so much more sure of themselves and so much more confident and so much more establish and never really freak out in the very real, very exhausting way that I seem to do. I'm also hoping that at least one seasoned moms knows where to get a shiny gold belt like the one above, because clearly my wardrobe needs it.
When The Baby Sleeps Through The Night
Not sure about you guys, but I had our log ready weeks in advance for this very (momentous) occasion.
When You Don't Know What Else To Do With Yourself Because You're So Damn Tired
You're like, "I'm just going to rest my head right here, OK? This is what I need right now. "
When You Try To Move After Labor And Delivery
Um, you just had a baby so it's okay to have absolutely no idea what's happening with your pelvis. Is it still there? Is it moving when you do *this*? I don't even know.
When Baby Describes How It Feels To Be Pregnant
Truer words about pregnancy have never been spoken. In this case, they were spoken by a non-mom who (I'm assuming) has never carried a baby. Still, it totally counts.
When Your Milk Comes In
Ta da! It totally feels like you've accomplished something, even though you know you had nature's help. Also, you're probably drenched, which really bridges the gap between this scene and breastfeeding.
When Your Kid Hits A Milestone. Any Milestone.
Especially if it comes before the specific age specified on that sheet your pediatrician gave to you (even if it's by a day). It never gets old.