19 Funny Tweets That Every Overdue Mother Understands
Pregnancy is that wonderful time in a woman's life when she's acutely aware of how beautiful, magical and, oh yeah, uncomfortable procreation can be. I would venture to say that most women who hit full term (and then start to edge past the 40 week mark) will tell you that the joy and excitement of pregnancy quickly fade away. For some reason, those last few weeks of pregnancy seem to last longer than all the combined weeks of your entire life. Thankfully, we have Twitter to give us some funny tweets that every overdue mother understands, so we don't lose our sanity, along with our sense of personal comfort.
Both of my kids went close to a week overdue, and both times I had been absolutely positive and totally convinced that they would come early. Word to the wise here, ladies: don't ever trick yourself into thinking your kid will come early, even if you're experiencing prodromal labor. It is a gigantic waste of dashed hopes and shattered dreams, because chances are your due date will come and then it will go and you'll start convincing yourself that you'll be the first woman in scientific history to stay pregnant forever. Better to assume you'll go overdue (but still have the hospital bag ready), so you don't end up losing your mind at 40 weeks, 4 days.
Honestly though, the best way to enter into the days that drag past your due date is with a sense of humor and some serious sarcasm. Which is why, if you've already waved at your due date as it passed you by, you should check out these 19 hilarious tweets from moms who truly understand #overdueproblems:
You Find Ways To Pass The Time
It. Has. To. Be. Perfect.
You Stop Sleeping
It's seriously not fair. I mean, we're going to be either pushing or having a baby cut out of our body, soon. We need rest, body! All the rest!
You Get Annoyed When People Keep Asking If The Baby Has Arrived...
The more overdue you are, the more sarcastic you become. It's scientific fact, so just consider this a warning.
...Like, Really, Really Annoyed
These are the questions that made me lose my sh*t that last week.
You Start Retaining All The Water
You know your feet are getting fatter by the second when even your flip flops get too tight #OverdueProblems— Holly Feller (@HollyFunbags) May 5, 2013
It feels so sexy, doesn't it? Ugh.
You Start Using Snark Like It's Your Job
Sometimes, a word picture says it best.
You'll Do Anything To Successfully Self-Induce
I tried them all, too. I can't be sure what worked (if anything does, in fact, work).
You'll Do Whatever You Can To Stay Comfortable
At this point, no one is going to judge you.
You Start Wishing Your Mucus Plug Would Make A (Gross) Appearance
This is so perfect, so accurate, and so disgusting.
You Start Getting Pretty Damn Angry
At least all of us ladies are in this together, right?
You Hope The Baby Is Worth It
I'm guessing they did, but I feel your pain all the same, girl.
You Simply Do You
No judgement here. Whatever gets you through, right?
Everything Starts To Be A Cruel Joke
It truly is. I wish they would give a due week or a due month.
You Can't Blame The Baby For Staying Put
I mean, they don't need to be fed manually and it's all dark and comfy in there and they have a heart beat to comfort them. They won't eventually pay taxes and they won't have to bill their mother for renting out her uterus. I mean, they're living the dream, you guys.
"Being Nice" Goes Out The Window
I'm pretty sure my use of the middle finger went up exponentially as I passed my due date.
You Start To Think Pregnancy Will Never End
There is no statement more truthier than this statement.
You Wonder If You Can Give Your Baby Some Hints
Perhaps the hint was a little too subtle?
You Start Getting Desperate
Spicy foods for the win. It worked with my first. I think?