Having a new baby summons a flood of emotions, most of which are derived from bliss and awe. From the second we meet our little ones, we're supposed to feel an instant connection and an unshakable bond. For many, those first meetings with our new baby are filled with wonderment and joy, but for some of us, they leave much to be desired. What happens when you have postpartum depression is something no one really wants to talk about at all most of the time. No one wants to talk about the guilt and emptiness that the supposed most important moment of our lives can create. No one wants to mention the sadness or the fear. No one warns you that although your arms are full, you might still feel empty, or that though your family just grew, you might still feel alone.
No one likes to talk about postpartum depression, and accepting it as part of your lives is a difficult pill for both you and your partner to swallow. It takes a toll on the even the strongest of relationships, and can often leave broken hearts in its wake. I mean, when the two of you decided to have a baby together, you probably anticipated a certain degree of exhaustion and stress, but mostly, you expected to be happy. But weathering the storm of PPD together doesn't have to destroy your relationship. In fact, getting through it together can be incredibly positive, even if going through it together is the worst. PPD isn't the shiniest thing that can bring the two of you together, but it still can. And surviving such a scary situation makes the two of you even stronger than you were before. Here's why:
Your Bond Gets Even Tighter
Once you've made it through the emotional hell that is postpartum depression, the bond that you share with your partner will have grown in ways that you probably won't be fully aware of for years. Holding each one another's hand during those uncertain days deeply intertwines the ties you share, and coming out on the other side of such an ugly disease will bind the two of you together like no marriage boot camp ever could.
You Appreciate Each Other More
You probably had no idea how much you loved your partner until you battled through postpartum depression together. Now that you're on the winning end of that battle, you've got an unbridled appreciation for one another. The relief of having made it out the other end of PPD is comforting, obviously, but the admiration and respect you have for your partner only deepens your esteem for them. It's not easy (as I know from experience), but the comfort of knowing that you've got someone by your side who's got your back no matter what the situation — no matter how dark, ugly, or depressing it may have been — brings such serenity and strength to a relationship.
At some point, you likely felt debilitated and directionless. You were lost amid a storm of incomprehensible emotions, but you made it out OK, not only stronger yourself, but possibly also stronger within your relationship. Be thankful to have made it through it all together, and try to always acknowledge the road that the two of you have traveled. It was hardly a sunny stroll but you survived it together.