Just the other day I was explaining to an expectant friend how pregnancy "cures" you of modesty, for better or worse. Motherhood is similar in that, once you're a mom it takes a lot to gross you out. You sort of lose your filter of what's acceptable to do and talk about in public. This phenomenon fascinates me, as someone who used to gag at all things icky but now tackles poop and puke with aplomb, so I asked moms to share the grossest thing they've ever done in polite company. I was not disappointed.
I am a gross person. Always have been, always will be, so I can't exactly blame it on motherhood. I mean, I'm the girl whose best friend had to physically stop her from peeling her post-sunburn skin off in the line for Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. I'll tell anyone who will sit still about my golf ball-sized hemorrhoids. That was my own personal gross, though. Having a baby meant I had to deal with the nastiness of another human being, one that was entirely my responsibility. Honestly, it didn't take me long to adjust. I'll sniff her butt or wipe her nose with my sleeve with the best of them.
It all came to a head a few weeks ago, though. My family and I were having dinner with some friends, and I decided a restaurant was an appropriate setting for a poop story. I regaled my dining companions with the story of the epic diaper I'd recently changed. I watched their poor faces as I described the tiny nugget that fell out. I witnessed their horror as I admitted to picking it up with a wipe, squishing it, and feeling it pop. It was a whole pea, people. Try enjoying your green chile queso fries after that.
I'm "that gross mom friend," but it's OK. I accept this fact wholeheartedly, knowing that I'm in good freaking company.