It was nothing short of a profound, life-changing experience to have a happy, healthy rainbow baby. When human beings experience something so intense, it's natural to learn something about oneself as a result and throughout the entire process. In fact, I'm still learning things about myself after having my rainbow baby.
In almost two years before my rainbow baby arrived, I had three miscarriages. Though I had two healthy children already, that didn't take away the grief of each pregnancy loss. Throughout what ended up being my sixth, and final, pregnancy, I had all the emotions. Forget about every day, every second was a whirlwind. Now my rainbow baby is 14 months old, they took their first steps yesterday, and I'm just beginning to take my first steps into the post-childbearing years of my life.
Profound experiences affect me on a deep, philosophical level. Once all the present moment feels are felt and sorted out, however, I'm left with the task of assigning meaning to them. I asses how all those intense feels have impacted my life and my sense of self moving forward. Those stages of integration and resolution of impactful life events can take years, so I know I'm just beginning. If you'll bear with me, dear reader, I would like to share my preliminary findings about what having my rainbow baby has taught me about, well, me.