My partner and I struggled with infertility for five years before becoming parents via adoption. We have a beautiful baby girl, now in the toddler stage, who has been with us since her third day of life. While we have technically crossed over to the parenting side, and are thankful for our ability to have our daughter in our lives, there are moments when I feel guilty for having a kid after struggling with infertility.
Technically my partner and I are still are struggling with infertility, we've just turned to adoption and, at this very moment, are waiting for another call that will expand our family even further. Before our daughter came into our lives, though, Mother's Day was the hardest day of the year. This Mother's Day, however, was my second as a mom, and while it was certainly different than the previous Mother's Days, I still couldn't shake that overwhelming feeling of complete sadness. My thoughts were with my friends (and even strangers) who are still desperately wishing they could celebrate the holiday as a mom, so while I was thankful I could, I was heartbroken they could not.
That's when the guilt hit. I don't think any of my friends who aren't moms yet would want me to feel any guilt. In fact I've always felt guilt was a little self-indulgent. Still, I did feel guilty posting a photo on Instagram that day, and I often have a hard time not feeling bad that I'm no longer in that heartbreaking club of women who want to be mothers, but just aren't yet.
My solution to the guilt is to try to be constantly and continually grateful that I am a mom. I never want to take parenthood for granted, and that is the way I try to honor my friends and family who are still trying to become parents.