Life

What Every Grown-Ass Man Does When His Partner Has Pregnancy Cravings

Out of all the pregnancy side effects a gestating woman can suffer through, cravings definitely aren't the worst. I mean, my cravings brought me closer to donuts, spicy pasta, and then more donuts. That’s not to say cravings can't still be a disruption, especially if there’s no suitable restaurants or grocery stores nearby. In fact, the potential challenges involving a must-have-now meal are no joke, which is why there are things that every grown-ass man does when his pregnant partner has cravings. Take heed, partners of pregnant people: food cravings might not be the worst, but they're no joke.

To be fair, my partner was actually pretty great about my cravings, and we have a friend who still jokes about the time they ran into each other when my spouse was buying sausage and renting me a copy of Frozen (because that's what you do for a pregnant woman, obviously). Though, I could see it being more of a struggle if said cravings involved ingredients that weren’t available from the grocery store that’s three minutes away, or from simply putting in a take-out order for the restaurant that’s a few blocks south. But, in my case, and in the case of most moms I know, cravings weren’t totally off-the-wall, middle-of-the-night, emergencies.

Then again, seeing as I still have a few weeks to go in my second pregnancy, perhaps I shouldn’t get too far ahead of myself. If a desperate cry for donuts strikes again, here’s how I think my spouse, a grown-ass man, would respond:

He Keeps A Poker Face

Even if she's craving the grossest thing imaginable, a grown-ass man can handle it. If he's grossed out, he never lets on. If he's confused, he doesn't let it show. Basically, he gives no indication that he thinks anything other than, "Oh, that's normal," when he hears her probably insane request.

(Although, this doesn't preclude him from laughing about it with her later, as my partner totally can since I was pretty intense about those donuts, which you'll probably be able to tell by how often they're mentioned).

He Procures Whatever Food She’s Craving

Perhaps he scoops ice cream out of the freezer, or brings her a cookie so she doesn't have to get up from the couch. Maybe he buys pickles from the store or brings home greasy takeout. Either way, he's got it covered.

He Doesn't Wait For His Partner To Ask

For the record, I'm not suggesting he suddenly becomes a magical mind reader. But when it came to my own pregnancy, it was a pretty safe bet that, on most days, I was interested in having as any donuts around me as physically partner. Even if my partner were to show up with those donuts, on an off-day, it’s still an awesome gesture.

He Refuses To Complain

My partner isn't one to complain regularly, but I can just imagine how the entire gesture would be null and void if he was bitter about the whole getting-food-for-my-pregnant-wife thing. Unless, I suppose, the food in question requires multiple stops at various stores or a trip across town to the world market. In that case, he can grump, but only just a little.

He Stockpiles The Necessities

I mean, if Costco sells the craving in question, I see no reason not to stock up. If a food delivery service allows you to subscribe, I totally would. If there’s only a few left on the grocery shelf, I would only feel slightly guilty about buying them out.

Basically, doing whatever needs to be done to ensure you never run out of whatever craving is pretty much a requirement.

He Doesn’t Make Her Feel Weird About Whatever She’s Asking For

I mean, as long as your cravings are technically food, no one should be batting an eye, raising an eyebrow, or asking, "Are you sure?" If, however, they are not technically food, that’s perhaps a different conversation.

He Doesn’t Eat Her Stash

For the record, I’m not a total monster. I did share my giant boxes of donut holes we bought on repeat from our grocery store’s bakery. However, I use the term "share" loosely, since it was like, 90 percent me, 8 percent toddler, and 2 percent husband. Still, I’m pretty sure that counts.

He Picks Up Alternative Treats From The Store

Don’t know where to start? Try the cookie aisle. She’ll thank you later.