What To Say To The Haters Of Disposable Diapers

While it seems obvious, and a little ridiculous, a big decision you'll make as a new parent involves poop. Yes, I'm talking about diapers. While your choice isn't life-altering, it can dictate how you spend the first couple of years of your child’s life. Do you want your baby to sport assorted patterns on their bum, or are you cool with less variety but more convenience? Personally, I settled on disposable, despite the critics. Turns out, there’s plenty of things to say to disposable diaper haters.

If I'm being honest, I must admit that before I had my son I was all about the idea of cloth diapering. I even registered for a ridiculous amount of cute ones for my baby shower. I wasn't gifted any, though, and my mother and husband kept talking about how much additional work cloth diapering would actually be. I was still pretty sure I’d try it eventually, then my son was born sick and all my preliminary plans went out the proverbial window. When he finally came home from the NICU I stuck to his trusty, easy, tried-and-true disposables.

I initially bought my son all-organic, "natural" diapers. As he grew older and more mobile, however, convenience got the best of me and I went for the usual, easy-to-find, affordable brands. I know there are people out there who would say I’m somehow poisoning my child with chemicals, or that I must hate the environment, or whatever. I say these haters need to just back the you-know-what off. And while I know most folks probably aren’t haters, to the few who are, well, this is what they need to hear:

"Are You Doing My Laundry?"

I don’t care how easy some folks say cloth diapering is, it still involves additional loads of laundry I’m probably not willing to do. I currently have three bags of clean clothes that need to be put away, and you want to add more to that pile?

While I get that there are cloth diaper services, they also cost more money than I’m willing to spend on what goes on my child’s butt.

"I Haven’t Heard You Offer Me Free Cloth Diapers"

I understand that you probably save money with cloth diapers in the long run. That said, they are a significant investment at the very beginning. You can’t just buy one or two and be all set. Plus, some diapers have covers and there’s inserts to buy and it’s just, well, a lot of stuff that doesn’t come cheap.

"If You Want To Change My Kid, Be My Guest"

I’m sure changing a cloth diaper isn’t much more difficult than a disposable. However, with a disposable I just get to fold it into itself and throw it the hell away.

If you want to handle the cloth diaper cleanup situation for me, be my guest.

"I Prefer Easier..."

Did I mention the whole needing a toilet (or something) to dump the poop into? Yeah, if I’m on the road that might (read: will) be a bit difficult. I certainly don’t want to have to carry something around that ends up making my entire car smell like an outhouse.

"...For Myself & The Other People Who Care For My Kid"

I’m pretty sure none of the kids at my son’s preschool use cloth diapers. At least, not during school hours. This would be a huge inconvenience and burden to those who are tasked with taking care of multiple children simultaneously, and I just don't feel like being "that person."

"I Don't Need My Kid's Diapers To Be 'Cute'"

Yes, there are significantly more patterns and cute diapers to choose from when you're going the cloth diapering route. That was one of the things that drew me in, too.

At the end of the day, though, my son’s diapers go under his clothes. I rarely see them. It’s totally OK for them not to be all that aesthetically pleasing when they're catching his poop and pee.

"I'm Green In Other Ways, Thank You"

Some folks argue that you’re destroying the environment by using disposables. Yes, I’m sure that I am contributing to the growing landfills of the world. Yes, I hate it.

No one is perfect and incapable of leaving a carbon footprint, though. I recycle daily and have been a devout vegetarian for over 20 years. I buy products made from recycled materials and I go out of my way to purchase locally grown produce. I'm green in other ways, just not when I'm changing my kid's diaper.

"Haters Gonna Hate"

At the end of the day, no one should care what’s catching my son’s waste. That’s between me and his tush.