The one thing that brings me comfort when my kid is having an epic meltdown in Target is the knowledge that I'm not alone. From Instagram posts to real-life experiences, I know every kid, at some point, has a total and complete, world-ending meltdown. Which is why I also know all about the things people are definitely thinking when your baby is screaming in Target. They're not necessarily the kindest things to think about a tiny human being clearly dealing with some feelings, but hey, we've all been there. Sometimes, kids are just the worst.
There's something about Target that pushes me, as a mom, to want to placate my child in any way possible just so I can wander around the aisles peacefully. And yet, I never get a chance to enjoy a peaceful wander around Target with a child. I was shocked that my child, from a very early age, could remember exactly where the treats were and that Target, as a placed of business, was the mecca for them. I still don't know how in the hell she can reach octaves higher than she ever has in her life when denied said treats at said mecca.
All that to say, if you're in line behind me at our local Target, or skimming the aisle we just so happen to be in: I'm not even mad at you for thinking grumpy thoughts in my general direction when my kid is screaming. Next time, for both our sakes, I'll come alone. Then we'll all have a much better time wandering aimlessly and spending way more money than we'll planned. Plus, it will save you from thinking the following:
"When Will It End?"
There's an echo in Target, I'm absolutely sure of it. There's an echo that only happens when it's your kid crying and you can't make it stop. And it's an echo that doubles when you've got two kids and both of them want something that you can't find or you can't give them or Target doesn't even have.
I've been that customer wondering when the screaming will end, and that is the only thing that gets me through the inevitable Target meltdown.
"She's Really Going To Give The Kid Another Treat?"
My kid knows that Target is the place with the treats. It's the place we end up with those stupid individual bags of chocolate chip cookies that seem to be at the end of every aisle. We always pay for them, but I'm definitely that mom who lets her kid have them and then pays for an empty bag when we've made it to the check-out line. And yes, I'm going to give her another treat to keep her screaming at yet another display of those damn cookies.
"How Old Is That Baby?"
That's right, that is a baby who is not nearly old enough to leave the house yet. I've thought it, and then I had a tiny baby and a toddler and only a really small window of time to get all the essentials. Yes, that window happened to be when I had both kids. Well, what are you gonna do? Bring the very tiny baby to Target, cover the car seat with a blanket, and pray he doesn't wake up and blow your cover.
"Why Is That Kid Covered In Chocolate & Still Screaming?"
Right?! How could she possibly be upset when she just ate all the treats?
"Why Did She Leave The House With That Terror?"
But can you imagine being stuck in an apartment with that terror all day? They're not always terrors, but on the days they're being total terrors, it's just not worth it to stay inside if the whole world is falling apart anyway. May as well knock out those errands if they're not going to nap.
"Who Brings Their 2-Week-Old To Target?"
We actually ran out of diapers during Hurricane Harvey and when we had a 2-week-old baby. And it's not like Amazon Prime was going to deliver through the flood, so Target was my best bet.
"How Can She Think Straight?"
Oh, she can't. She really can't. She has no idea what she came here for and she is definitely not leaving with anything she actually needs. She is going to get home with bags full of goldfish crackers and 11 useless things from the dollar section that her kid dumped in the cart and refused to let go when it came time to check out.
"When Do You Think She's Going To Get A Break?"
I think most people know that if you bring a screaming kid to Target, that is your "break" and a real break is not going to be happening anytime soon. And we all know that because no one in their right mind would choose to bring a child to Target if they could possibly come on their own and stroll in peace. So, you know, be kind.
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