There were so many things that changed after I got married. Just two months after my nuptials, I gave up my job running political campaigns a job I'd been doing since mid-way through college) and moved to a new country. Before I got there, my husband had found us an apartment and bought us a car. My entire life changed within a few months of tying the knot. Luckily, though, there were so many things that didn't change about me once I was married, although some days it was a little hard to remember them.
People say the first year of marriage is the hardest, and it certainly felt that way for me. All those big life changes were really difficult to adapt to, especially all at once. However, I was aware that I was still myself, so while my circumstances and situation changed the core of me and who I was before I was married remained. Nine years later, that seems to still be the balance that allows us to enjoy a peaceful marriage: remembering who we are as individuals, but also knowing that we're committed to our marriage together.
Some things are bound to change about you when you get married, but remembering that not everything has to change can be comforting, especially during that initial shift into married life.
My Love For My Partner
Even when the adjustment to married life and moving to a new country wasn't feeling so easy, I tried to remember that my love and desire for my partner was the same as before we got married. I still wanted to be married to him just as much, if not more, than when we were planning our wedding and dreaming of what it would be like.
My Love And Loyalty To My Family
My husband and I built a new family the day we got married, and while in some ways it felt like I was leaving my family behind (especially that intercontinental move), they were and are still a huge part of my life. I am still very loyal to them, although my husband and our relationship does come first. I still want to spend time with them and want their advice and counsel, even though I'm married and have my own family now.
My Need To Spend Time With Friends
It was so tough in that first year of marriage, when I was 3,000 miles away from all my friends and hadn't yet figured out how to make new ones as an adult. Still, that first year also showed how how important my friendships truly are, even though I was married. I inherited my husband's friends' girlfriends and wives, to be sure, but that was so different than having girlfriends of my own. Eventually, those friends' wives turned into close friends, but it wasn't instant and it was one of the toughest things about moving to a new country.
My Need To Spend Time On My Own
I've always been the type who needs to decompress with time on my own, and that didn't change once I made my vows to my husband. A marriage doesn't mean you have to spend every waking minute together. Alone time is good and necessary in any relationship.
My Desire To Date My Partner
My desire to romance my partner and be romanced by him didn't change once we got married. We might spend a little more time watching Netflix than we did before we got married and moved in together, but we still wanted to retain the feeling of dating each other in some ways. We continued to plan dates with and for each other, and made the effort to bring romance into our marriage as well.
Nearly nine years later, I still wear the (marginally) sexy stuff I did before we got married, at least most weeks of the month.
My Excitement For Adventure
When I got married, I didn't feel an immediate desire to settle down and nest. I still had an excitement and need for adventure. My husband and I lived in a tiny steal of an apartment so that we could afford to travel around Europe while we lived in Ireland, and it was one of the best sacrifices we made. It made us stronger as a couple, and we got to see so much of the world!
My Sex Life
My sex life didn't end or automatically become more boring because I got married (thank goodness).