I always envisioned putting my babies in their cribs and having them fall peacefully asleep. Then I had babies, and discovered that's just not the way babies work. I've rocked, snuggled, fed, wore, and drove them around the block to get them to sleep. When they woke up several times a night. I'd bring them to bed with me. But this time I vowed to do things differently and planned to sleep train my son. Yeah, I suck at sleep training. So it's time to come clean, my friends. It's time I reveal the confessions of a sleep training failure.
Just between you and me, failing at sleep training was entirely my fault. I am not as committed to the process as I could be (and need to be), and it's way easier to give in and bring my baby to bed or feed him at 2:00 a.m instead of doing the back and forth thing for another hour, or whatever. I want it to happen, but, as of right now, my baby falling asleep on his own without my help is an elusive pipe dream. And no matter how much he eats during the day, he still seems to wake up at least once or twice a night. It's so hard to be strong when I'm sleep deprived, and listening to him cry breaks my heart. So, I start each night with the best intentions, then ultimately fail half-way through.
I am not really functioning well, and neither is my husband. My kids deserve a well-rested mom, and I need more sleep to make that happen. But I suck so bad at sleep training, and have no willpower when it comes to my baby. It's so embarrassing. I know that bed-sharing can be dangerous (not to mention, not conducive to me getting some damn sleep), but it's the only thing that's guaranteed to work, and I am weak. I need to get this right, but what if I missed my chance or have already screwed things up? I guess I just don't know what to do. I do know that I have officially failed at sleep training, I miss sleep, and I need to confess the following: