As a new mom society constantly tells me that I have to give up everything — including my bodily autonomy, my bed, my identity, and anything resembling sleep — to be a "good mom." I say false. And no. I actually think being a good mom is impossible if I don't take care of myself first. Motherhood doesn't have to mean martyrdom, and contrary to popular belief there are quite a few things you don't have to sacrifice when you're a new mom. Seriously, you really don't.
If you don't put on your proverbial own oxygen mask first, how can you take care of your baby, right? Growing and birthing a human is a huge ordeal, and after it's over you don't go back to feeling "normal" right away (or ever, if I feel like being super honest right now.). So while you recover postpartum, and long after, you don't have to be a hero or sacrifice your mental health, your body, or who you are, all in the name of motherhood and some ridiculous standard society seems hellbent and trying to convince us moms to live up to.
The way I see it, I'm not going to win any awards for losing myself to motherhood. My kids deserve a happy, well-rested, healthy mom, and I deserve to have my own hobbies, my own space, and my own freaking body. So I ask for what I need, force myself to do self care (and I say "force" because I am seriously terrible at it), and try to find ways to invest in my health and my happiness every single day.
I'm done trying to be a "perfect" mother. It's not really possible, and I will never measure up. So for now I'm going to focus on being me, and that means staying in touch with who I am and what I value and realizing that there are things I don't have to give up, including the following: