I never thought I would sleep train my babies. In fact, I judged the hell out of my friends who let their babies "cry it out" and did things "my way," which meant rocking, snuggling, or walking a path across the house until they fell asleep in my arms. Most of the time I ended up falling asleep on the extra bed in the nursery or bringing them to bed with me. Never again. So now I'm taking a different route, only to realize that sleep training is absolutely the hardest part of parenting. For real, you guys, it's the worst.
It would probably be easier if I was more committed to the process, but I am just getting used to the idea that my baby can learn to fall asleep on his own without my help. I mean, don't misunderstand, I want it to happen, but until it happens consistently I'm a little skeptical. I'm not going to lie, it's hard to listen to my baby cry; probably even harder than potty training (and potty training totally sucked). I think it wouldn't be as bad if I had more willpower or if I could apply logic to the process, but that's challenging in the middle of the night when I'm sleep deprived.
It's so hard, in fact, that sometimes I ask myself why I'm not giving up. The thing is, though, that when I think about it I know the answer, and it's a pretty simple one: I miss sleep. I am not really functioning well as a human right now, and neither is my husband. My kids deserve a well-rested mom, and I need more sleep to make that happen. So, we're giving sleep training a shot, even though we've both discovered that it's really hard. I just hope it's worth it, because I really miss sleep.