gpointstudio/Fotolia

9 Confessions Of A Sleep Training Failure

By
Share
Ad failed to load

I always envisioned putting my babies in their cribs and having them fall peacefully asleep. Then I had babies, and discovered that's just not the way babies work. I've rocked, snuggled, fed, wore, and drove them around the block to get them to sleep. When they woke up several times a night. I'd bring them to bed with me. But this time I vowed to do things differently and planned to sleep train my son. Yeah, I suck at sleep training. So it's time to come clean, my friends. It's time I reveal the confessions of a sleep training failure.

Just between you and me, failing at sleep training was entirely my fault. I am not as committed to the process as I could be (and need to be), and it's way easier to give in and bring my baby to bed or feed him at 2:00 a.m instead of doing the back and forth thing for another hour, or whatever. I want it to happen, but, as of right now, my baby falling asleep on his own without my help is an elusive pipe dream. And no matter how much he eats during the day, he still seems to wake up at least once or twice a night. It's so hard to be strong when I'm sleep deprived, and listening to him cry breaks my heart. So, I start each night with the best intentions, then ultimately fail half-way through.

I am not really functioning well, and neither is my husband. My kids deserve a well-rested mom, and I need more sleep to make that happen. But I suck so bad at sleep training, and have no willpower when it comes to my baby. It's so embarrassing. I know that bed-sharing can be dangerous (not to mention, not conducive to me getting some damn sleep), but it's the only thing that's guaranteed to work, and I am weak. I need to get this right, but what if I missed my chance or have already screwed things up? I guess I just don't know what to do. I do know that I have officially failed at sleep training, I miss sleep, and I need to confess the following:

Ad failed to load

I'm Not Sure If I Want To Sleep Train My Baby

Giphy

If I'm being honest, I have to admit that I'm not entirely sure sleep training is the right decision for my baby and my family. When my older kids were babies, we co-slept or I would bring them to bed if they woke up in the middle of the night.

I had a love-hate relationship with bed-sharing, though. I loved the snuggles, but hate that babies seems to take up roughly 2/3 of a king-sized bed. So, I have no idea if I am doing the right thing. I'm not confident either, often falling back to my old crutches, like feeding or rocking him to sleep, which seems so much easier in the short term, even though I know it's probably the wrong decision in the long run.

It Sucks

Sleep training is absolutely the hardest part of parenting. For real, you guys, it's the worst. I hate hearing my baby cry, hate having arguments with my partner about the "right" way to approach this entire situation, and hate the seemingly endless bedtime struggles. At the same time, I am so tired, and I really need sleep, so we have continued this half-assed attempt at sleep training for months. The problem? It's not working.

I'm Afraid I Have Completely Screwed Up

Giphy

If you Google sleep training mistakes, my picture might actually appear, because I am pretty sure I have made, and continue to make, all of them. Rocking baby to sleep? Check. Feeding the baby at bedtime? Check. Picking him up when he cries? Check. Bringing him to bed with me? Check. I am not sure I can shift gears and sleep train correctly, and what if it's too late?

Ad failed to load

I'm Relatively Sure My Baby Isn't Actually Hungry At Night

Feeding my baby works to quiet him about 90 percent of the time. So, I use it, like a crutch. I know that it's the wrong thing to do, but I am too tired to think of an alternative, and in the moment it feels like an easy out. Honestly, though, at 3:00 a.m., when you are as tired as I am, I have a feeling you would use an easy out, too.

I Really Miss Sleep

When it's time to go to bed I have no energy, logic, or willpower, and I am an emotional mess. There's a reason sleep deprivation is a form of torture. I would probably say yes to anything if it meant I could get some sleep, which means that I constantly go back to what I know works rather than trying to do the hard thing (read: sleep training).

It's So Easy To Give Up

Giphy

Logically I know that sleep training is only hard for a few nights. In theory, anyway. In the moment, though, when I am sleep deprived and desperate, it just seems so much easier to give in and pick my baby up. I only intend to pick him up for a little bit, after a snuggle, a bottle, a few minutes... but then I wake up with him kicking my kidney or grabbing my face, and think that I need to try again.

Ad failed to load

This Is My Last Baby

I want all of the baby snuggles. All of them. Especially since this is my last baby, and I am not sure how long he'll still want to be snuggled at night. I am tearing up just thinking about it. So yeah, it's almost worth it to me to give up a little sleep. Almost.

It Hurts To Hear My Baby Cry

Giphy

It hurts to hear my baby cry. I know, logically, that it won't hurt him to learn to fall asleep on his own, and that a few nights of crying might mean many good nights of sleep, but damn this is hard. It's honestly harder than I ever thought it would be. Maybe too hard.

My Baby Has Sleep Trained Me

I am going to share a secret: I am pretty sure my baby has sleep-trained my partner and I, and not the other way around. I mean, we do whatever it takes to get him to sleep, and then we go collect him in the middle of the night whenever he cries. Like a tiny dictator, he's probably silently laughing an evil laugh and thinking, "I can make mommy and daddy do just about anything when they are tired." And he's right. He can.

Check out Romper's new video series, Romper's Doula Diaries:

Watch full episodes of Romper's Doula Diaries on Facebook Watch.

Ad failed to load
Must Reads

Being A Dog Parent Prepared Me For Having A Baby, Really

I’ve always wanted kids; I was never as sure about raising a puppy. Then I spent six months living with someone who brought home an eight-week-old golden retriever puppy, and I see no way to make it out of that experience claiming not to love dogs. I…
By Heather Caplan

20 Of The Most Popular Unisex Names Of All Time, That You'll Be Hearing More Of For Sure

You might think of unisex names as a fairly recent trend, but the truth is these versatile monikers have been commonly used throughout history (well, some more commonly than others). That's why the team over at Names.org recently compiled a list of t…
By Jacqueline Burt Cote

How To Have A Date Night With No Babysitter, Because It's Easier Than You Think

After having children, many couples feel that their love lives immediately go out the window, but it's so important to make your romantic life a priority so both you and your partner can be the best versions of yourselves you can be. As we all know, …
By Abi Berwager Schreier

9 Ways Baby No. 3 Made My Family Feel Complete

My husband and I decided to have another baby right after we got married and, well, we had no idea what we were getting into. I got pregnant right away, endured a high-risk pregnancy, and, before I knew it, my third baby had arrived. Together, we emb…
By Steph Montgomery

8 Stereotypes About New Dads That Are *Totally* True

Much like new mothers, new fathers have a lot on their plate. Parenting can be scary and complex, especially at first and regardless of your gender. People want to do right by their kids, after all. And since all new parents are a hot mess, dads are …
By Priscilla Blossom

8 Differences Between Being Pregnant In Your 20s Vs 30s, According To Science

Whether you're planning a pregnancy, or just thinking about your future family, it's typical to think about things like child-spacing, how many kids you want, and when to start trying to conceive. When making your pro/con list, you might also conside…
By Steph Montgomery

16 Moms Share Remedies For Their Most Intense Chocolate Cravings During Pregnancy

For better or worse, pregnancy is usually synonymous with odd cravings. Sure, there are the stereotypical combos like pickles and ice cream that plague gestating women the world over, but there are other mind-boggling combinations, too, including but…
By Candace Ganger

Putting Sunscreen On Your Kid Doesn't Have To Be A Fight — Here's How To Do It

I am almost translucent, so me and sunscreen are basically besties at this point. Even though my children are beautifully deep brown thanks to my husband's genetics, I still slather them like biscuits being buttered because I refuse to take risks wit…
By Cat Bowen

7 Things A Mom Really Means When She Says She Doesn't Want Anything On Mother's Day

Every year my family asks me what I want for Mother's Day, and every single year I tell them the same thing: Nothing. So, by now, they know that when I say "nothing" I absolutely do not mean "nothing." In fact, there are more than a few things a mom …
By Candace Ganger

19 Moms Share The Way They Cured Their Pregnancy Comfort Food Cravings

I was obnoxiously sick during the first trimester with, "lucky" for me, both of my pregnancies. For the first three months I lived on saltines, lemonade, and fresh bread. Once I was able to eat, however, all I wanted was savory and sweet comfort food…
By Dina Leygerman

8 Fascinating Facts About Babies Born In May, The Luckiest Month Of All

The height of all things fresh and springy, May is an excellent month to have a baby. It's a time of growth, graduations, and outdoor celebrations. And these fascinating facts about May babies will give you more reasons than ever to appreciate childr…
By Lindsay E. Mack

I Used To Judge Formula-Feeding Moms — Until I Became One

The other patrons in the hip Brooklyn restaurant probably couldn’t care less what I was feeding my baby, but I’ll always remember the shame I felt as I quickly mixed up his bottle of formula in front of them. I admitted to my childless friend that I …
By Katherine Martinelli

7 White Lies It’s Necessary To Tell To Keep Your Relationship Healthy

Telling lots of lies typically isn't associated with a healthy, strong, lasting relationship, and that's still certainly true, but not all lies are exactly the same. Though you've probably heard from someone at least once or twice that the lie they t…
By Lauren Schumacker

The Skinny Jeans That Saved Me Postpartum

Accepting my post-pregnancy body is hands-down one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done. It’s something that I still work on every single day. During my first pregnancy, I was 20 years old, so I managed to bounce back quickly. In fact, I dropp…
By Allison Cooper

7 Ways Your Baby Is Trying To Say They Feel Safe

In those first weeks of new motherhood, it can feel like you need an interpreter for your newborn. With their limited means of communication, figuring out what message your baby is trying to get across to you can be a challenge. With time, however, y…
By Kimmie Fink

Here's Why Dogs Are Obsessed With Babies' Poop, According To Science

Most family dogs seem to understand babies, and they're more than happy to make friends with the newest member of the pack. It's adorable... for the most part and until you go to change your little one's diaper. Suddenly, you're wondering why dogs ar…
By Lindsay E. Mack

6 Signs You're Meant To Have A Big Age Gap Between Kids

There's a five year age difference between my two children, to the day. Their age gap wasn't planned but, for a variety of reasons, works well for our family. And since I was so focused on having a second baby, I totally overlooked the signs that wou…
By Candace Ganger

13 Unique (& Totally Not Mainstream) Mother's Day Gifts For The Hipster Mom

Hipsters thrive on being outside the norm and not really digging anything considered "mainstream." Whether it's in their fashion, what music they listen to, the books they read, or how they enjoy beverages, there's just something that makes them dist…
By Abi Berwager Schreier

Here's How To Introduce Your Pet To Your Baby & Make Everything As Calm As Possible

Our home, which we lovingly refer to as “the funny farm,” is filled with four-legged family members. We have two crazy beagles and two cat jerks, and boy are they loved and spoiled. (As they should be.) But we are now finally having a baby of our own…
By Abi Berwager Schreier

Here's The Right Birth Method For You, According To Your Zodiac Sign

If you're pregnant, you've probably given childbirth some serious thought. Some moms-to-be prepare a meticulous birth plan, while others are comfortable just going with the flow. And me? Well, I made a plan... but that plan was useless when faced wit…
By Steph Montgomery

My Dog Knew I Was Pregnant Before My Family Did

Growing up, I was 100 percent sure I'd be a mom one day. To a dog, that is. My baby plans came later. And once my husband and I were sure we wanted both a dog and a baby, we'd add to our joint dog-and-baby name list over Sunday brunch or on date nigh…
By Melissa Mills
)}