I've been married twice, so that means I've had to navigate relationships with two sets of in-laws. Spoiler alert: it hasn't been easy. To be honest, my relationships with my mothers-in-law haven't always been the greatest, and to make matters worse, I've learned all about the creepy things your mother-in-law will definitely do. Yay marriage, right?
Sometimes I really do think our mothers-in-law mean well. They probably (and hopefully) don't realize how inappropriate and downright creepy it is to ask you about your sex life, or other personal things related to your intimate relationship with their child, like your plans for breastfeeding, when your baby was conceived, or if you delivered vaginally. Then there are the things they do to stay connected, like stalk you on social media or call you every hour, on the hour, for weeks on end. My new mother-in-law even asked to be in the delivery room when I had my youngest child. M6y response? Nope. See also: inviting herself to your house or showing up and walking in unannounced.
Then there's the fact that my mother-in-law claims to want to be helpful, but she only ever wants to do it on her terms. So, when she visits, she'll walk right into our laundry room and start doing my laundry, including folding and putting away my lingerie, without asking first. When I try to take a break from being social by hiding in the bathroom or bedroom, she will come find me, asking me if I'm OK and sometimes even walking in without knocking.
I wish my mother-in-law would learn some boundaries, or at least respect the ones I have managed to set. So if you have a mother-in-law, or are a mother-in-law, read on for some horrific examples of things that will totally creep any daughter-in-law out.
Stalk You On Facebook
My mother-in-law totally stalks me on Facebook. She will comment on nearly everything I post, read into posts that she thinks are about her, and reminds me that I need to post pictures of her grandkids on Facebook at least once a day.
If I skip a day or two of pictures, for whatever reason, she will let me know, or worse, she will send me a message asking me if something is wrong or send my husband a message asking if I have blocked her or prevented her from seeing my posts. Honestly, I have thought about blocking her, but I know it would create a ton of drama for my husband, so I don't, even though it totally creeps me out.
Refer To Your Kids As Hers
Yes, I know that my baby is her grandson. She doesn't have to refer to him as "my grandson," or worse, "my baby," though. He has a name. See also: giving him a nickname because you don't like his name. It's passive aggressive, not her place, and totally creepy.
Ask You About Really Personal Things
My mother-in-law always asks me really personal questions. I don't want to talk about my vaginal delivery, my breastfeeding experiences, my health, or my previous marriage, especially with her. It's none of her business. And the worst part, of course is the undeniable fact that these questions are asked because she also wants to share really personal things with me. I could have gone my whole life without hearing about my mother-in-law's tummy troubles. Seriously.
Want To Discuss Your Sex Life
When someone asks their daughter-in-law when they conceived their baby, or in my case, if my baby was conceived on our honeymoon, they are literally asking about their child's sex life. It's awkward AF. So, no, I'm not going to answer that question, even if my in-laws (or pretty much anyone) asks.
Show Up At Your House Unannounced
True story: the first time I met my mother-in-law, she walked into my house, without knocking, hours before we thought she would arrive. I was vacuuming in my underwear, and totally didn't hear her come in. So, yeah, that totally wasn't how I planned to meet her and it seriously creeped me out.
Fold Your Laundry Without Permission
My mother-in-law is obsessed with doing my laundry, even when I tell her that I would prefer that she wouldn't. On her last visit, she walked right into my laundry room and started folding a load, after I had specifically told her it wasn't necessary. I am not sure if she is displeased with the fact that I often am behind on folding and putting away clothes, or if she just doesn't have any boundaries. Either way, I think it's creepy to touch other people's clothes without permission.
Bring Up Your Husband's Exes
My mother-in-law is still friends with my husband's ex-fiance, his ex-wife, and his ex-girlfriend, all of whom he is not friendly with. She tells them about our lives, brings his exes up in conversations, and went so far as to invite my husband's ex-wife to Thanksgiving one year, after turning down our invitation. Ugh.
Keep Score In A Contest With Your Parents
My mother-in-law is constantly comparing herself to my parents. They live nearby, and consequently get to see their grandkids more often. She will keep track, and complain to my husband when she notices any disparity in invitations to holidays, time spent with our family, or pictures posted on Facebook.
Enter Your Bedroom Without Knocking
My bedroom is my sanctuary. It's also not always clean, and quite frequently has a bra hanging from a door knob or lube on the nightstand. When my mother-in-law visits, she will walk in and out of my room, even if I am in there with the door shut. If I lock the door, her first question will be, "is everything alright in there?" I would tell her that I am masturbating, but she would probably ask me about it. She has no boundaries, and it's creepy AF.
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