Being a stay-at-home mom isn't all rainbows and sunshine. It's great, for sure, and there are some peaks that make the valley of hard days a little more tolerable. But there's an automatic assumption others have about what you do all day when you tell them you're a stay-at-home mom. On top of that mess, there's also some pretty enraging things your partner will do when you're a stay-at-home mom, too. You know, as if things weren't hard enough already. And when you're relying on your person to be your support, rather than another source of stress, even the tiniest things can become big deals. Trust me.
I always planned on staying home with my children. In fact, I was looking forward to being a stay-at-home mother the moment I found out I was pregnant with my first. And while I do work from home so I can also contribute to my family financially, there's not a damn thing in the world I would change when it comes to staying home and caring for my kids. That said, this sh*t isn't easy, you guys. Working from home while I simultaneously care for two children is a daily test of my sanity and resilience. For the most part, though, I get it figured out, and all is good — except when my partner throws a wrench into my plans.
I don't think he intends to irritate me by leaving the dirty dishes in the sink after I've just cleaned up, or delaying progress in getting our 5-year-old son to eat his peas. It just happens. But when it does, I'm enraged. I work hard to maintain a certain way of living as a stay-at-home mom — for all of us — and having someone make that task more difficult is infuriating. So, with that in mind, here are a few things my partner does that straight-up drive me insane.
When They Add To The Mess
You know that feeling when you've finally cleaned the last trail of crumbs left by the kids and the final dish is put away and the laundry pile that's been sitting in the corner of your bedroom for over a month is finally gone? It's the best, right? That is, of course, until you look behind you and watch your partner leave more crumbs and put a dirty dish in the sink and throw his clothes on the goddamn ground.
When They Ask For Things
On evenings when my partner is home from work I could be visibly struggling to finish out a long day of catering to two children, only to have him ask me to bring him medicine for his headache or a pair of socks or literally anything he could get himself. I've been serving two children all day, I don't need to serve a third.
When They Plan The Itinerary Without Permission
As the one who's home all day and in charge of schlepping the kids wherever they must be, I don't appreciate when my partner adds something to my routine without running it by me first. When a kid wants to join an after school art class and the other wants to do karate on a separate day and it mostly affects what you, as a stay-at-home mom, has to do on any given day, you partner should be asking before they say "yes" to anything.
When They Ask "When Are You Getting Dressed?"
I am dressed, thanks.
When They Assume You Don't Do Anything All Day
Why, oh why, is there this prevailing idea that stay-at-home moms don't "do anything" all day. Some moms make it look easy, but let me tell you — it's not. A good partner knows your contributions and acknowledges how hard it must be to have kids in your face every hour of every day.
When They Instigate The Kids
I've worked really hard to get my kids on a solid bedtime routine. So imagine my rage when my partner gets the kids riled up before they brush their teeth and head off to bed. Without fail, every single time, they won't settle down, argue about going to bed, and hate me for being the one who enforces the rules. I know he doesn't mean to disrupt our schedule and I know he just wants to spend time with the kids, but it's such a pain in the ass.
When They Mess With Your Beloved Routine
I'm the one in charge of doing all the things, you guys! When my partner intervenes with plans of his own and without notice, it messes up all the things and my day is shot to sh*t.
When They Stare At Their Phones
Working outside the home is taxing, too, and my partner needs some downtime. But when my children are excited to see their father at the end of the day and he's just sitting on his phone, I'd be lying if I said I didn't dream about shoving that damn thing down the garbage disposal. When you're home, be home.
When They Don't Do A Damn Thing
Let's be real: being a stay-at-home mom is a job, and I'm tired of people assuming otherwise. When my partner comes home from a long day of work and wants to relax, I sympathize. I do, but I never get down time. Like, ever. While he gets a full hour of lunch to sit in silence or with friends, my job is 24 hours a day, seven days a week, with no pay, no breaks, and no praise. I love being the person my children run to when they need anything and everything, but I wish I'd get the respect I think all stay-at-home moms deserves.
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