Tyler Olson/Fotolia

9 Inappropriate Questions Every Mom Wishes She Could Ask Her Labor & Delivery Nurse

By
Share
Ad failed to load

In my experience, your labor and delivery nurse is pretty central to your birth experience. In fact, they can make or break it. A good one can help with pain, answer questions, and put you at ease, but a bad one? Well, they can make things so much worse. L&D nurses are also the keepers of the information about things like what you can and can't do, can and can't eat, and when you can get a damn epidural. So there are a ton of questions every mom wants to ask her labor and delivery nurse, and the majority can feel a tad too inappropriate to ask someone you've just met. I mean, your nurse is already going to see you at your worst and most vulnerable, and when you very well might be naked, exposed, and/or covered in bodily fluids, so why add insult to injury, right?

If you do keep these particular questions to yourself, you'll probably end up wondering (between contractions, and if you're not too exhausted to think) things like if you can have a snack (sometimes), if they can do anything to help you poop before you start pushing (like, please, I'm desperate), or when the damned anesthesiologist will get there so you can get an epidural and some reprieve (soon, I hope). You might worry that your nurse is secretly judging you, too. I mean, they have seen a ton of people give birth. What if you disappoint them? Or do it all wrong? Or can't "handle it" like other women?

If you are anything like me (and have no shame), you eventually decide to go for it and ask whatever the hell is on your mind. I mean, once someone sees you naked and covered in your own vomit, there's probably not much you can say that will catch them off guard. Besides, if you don't ask, you won't know, right?

Ad failed to load

"Can I Have A Snack?"

Giphy

The first time I was in labor I was terrified of doing anything wrong. So even though I was starving and hadn't eaten in more than 24 hours, I was sure if I ate anything the nurse would catch me. I am not sure what I thought would happen if they did, but I didn't want to find out. The second time I was in labor, I threw caution to the wind and asked for some damn food. She sent my husband for some breakfast and told me I should eat to have strength for the work that was to come.

"Can You Help Me Use The Bathroom?"

The first time I had a baby I was totally shy about asking for help to the bathroom before and after giving birth. The last time, I am pretty sure the nurses flipped a coin whenever they saw my call light. Seriously, though, when you are in labor and postpartum, there's no shame in asking for help from the nursing staff when you need it. You are a patient, too.

"Will You Think Less Of Me If I Get An Epidural?"

Giphy

I don't know why I was worried about what my nurses would think of me if I got an epidural. I mean, they were not the ones who had to give birth, and it wasn't as if I would ever see them again once my baby was born and we were able to leave the hospital. I wish laboring women weren't made to feel like they shouldn't get the pain-relief they need, because they will be shamed.

Ad failed to load

"Did I Poop On The Table?"

After I got an epidural, I was seriously worried about pooping on the table and not feeling it. Hell, I had never even pooped in front of my husband, let alone a room full of strangers and my husband. I wanted to claim as much modesty as possible. I asked, she looked, and there was, thankfully, no poop.

"Can I Do This?"

Giphy

There have been moments during each of my three labors when I was sure I wouldn't be able to continue or was going to fail in some way. At times, experiences with nurses made me feel strong, but at other times, they totally made me question my strength and abilities.

"Can I Have A Suppository?"

When I gave birth the last time I hadn't pooped in three days, due to medications I had been on in the hospital and pregnancy constipation. I was so uncomfortable, but also so nervous about asking for help. When I finally did, it was NBD. I wish I would have asked sooner.

Ad failed to load

"Can You Leave Me Alone?"

Giphy

It seems like you get a visit from your labor and delivery nurse every 30 minutes, day and night, and often when you are trying to get some damn sleep. Eventually, I just wanted to be left alone. I know they were just trying to do their jobs, but seriously. Leave me alone.

"Can You Get Me A Mirror?"

The first time I delivered a baby the nurses offered to bring in a mirror, so I could watch my baby be born and to help me push. I loved it, and thought it was commonplace. So, I was so surprised when the labor and delivery nurse looked at me like I had grown horns when I asked for one during my next labor. The experience threw me so much that this last time around, I didn't ask. I totally wish I had.

"Can You Lay Off About Breastfeeding?"

Giphy

I was terrified about giving birth at a so-called "baby-friendly" hospital. I had horrible experiences with nurses touching my breasts without my permission and forcing me to sign a release to give my son formula. As a mom with undersupply, I knew I needed to supplement, and I deserved to be able to do so without comments, pressure, or questions about it. My body, my choice. So, my husband wrote, "We will be supplementing with formula and request no lactation support" on the whiteboard, and I asked my nurses to respect my wishes, even though I shouldn't have had to.

Watch Romper's new video series, Romper's Doula Diaries:

Check out the entire Romper's Doula Diaries series and other videos on Facebook and the Bustle app across Apple TV, Roku, and Amazon Fire TV.

Ad failed to load
Must Reads

Being A Dog Parent Prepared Me For Having A Baby, Really

I’ve always wanted kids; I was never as sure about raising a puppy. Then I spent six months living with someone who brought home an eight-week-old golden retriever puppy, and I see no way to make it out of that experience claiming not to love dogs. I…
By Heather Caplan

20 Of The Most Popular Unisex Names Of All Time, That You'll Be Hearing More Of For Sure

You might think of unisex names as a fairly recent trend, but the truth is these versatile monikers have been commonly used throughout history (well, some more commonly than others). That's why the team over at Names.org recently compiled a list of t…
By Jacqueline Burt Cote

How To Have A Date Night With No Babysitter, Because It's Easier Than You Think

After having children, many couples feel that their love lives immediately go out the window, but it's so important to make your romantic life a priority so both you and your partner can be the best versions of yourselves you can be. As we all know, …
By Abi Berwager Schreier

9 Ways Baby No. 3 Made My Family Feel Complete

My husband and I decided to have another baby right after we got married and, well, we had no idea what we were getting into. I got pregnant right away, endured a high-risk pregnancy, and, before I knew it, my third baby had arrived. Together, we emb…
By Steph Montgomery

8 Stereotypes About New Dads That Are *Totally* True

Much like new mothers, new fathers have a lot on their plate. Parenting can be scary and complex, especially at first and regardless of your gender. People want to do right by their kids, after all. And since all new parents are a hot mess, dads are …
By Priscilla Blossom

8 Differences Between Being Pregnant In Your 20s Vs 30s, According To Science

Whether you're planning a pregnancy, or just thinking about your future family, it's typical to think about things like child-spacing, how many kids you want, and when to start trying to conceive. When making your pro/con list, you might also conside…
By Steph Montgomery

16 Moms Share Remedies For Their Most Intense Chocolate Cravings During Pregnancy

For better or worse, pregnancy is usually synonymous with odd cravings. Sure, there are the stereotypical combos like pickles and ice cream that plague gestating women the world over, but there are other mind-boggling combinations, too, including but…
By Candace Ganger

Putting Sunscreen On Your Kid Doesn't Have To Be A Fight — Here's How To Do It

I am almost translucent, so me and sunscreen are basically besties at this point. Even though my children are beautifully deep brown thanks to my husband's genetics, I still slather them like biscuits being buttered because I refuse to take risks wit…
By Cat Bowen

7 Things A Mom Really Means When She Says She Doesn't Want Anything On Mother's Day

Every year my family asks me what I want for Mother's Day, and every single year I tell them the same thing: Nothing. So, by now, they know that when I say "nothing" I absolutely do not mean "nothing." In fact, there are more than a few things a mom …
By Candace Ganger

19 Moms Share The Way They Cured Their Pregnancy Comfort Food Cravings

I was obnoxiously sick during the first trimester with, "lucky" for me, both of my pregnancies. For the first three months I lived on saltines, lemonade, and fresh bread. Once I was able to eat, however, all I wanted was savory and sweet comfort food…
By Dina Leygerman

8 Fascinating Facts About Babies Born In May, The Luckiest Month Of All

The height of all things fresh and springy, May is an excellent month to have a baby. It's a time of growth, graduations, and outdoor celebrations. And these fascinating facts about May babies will give you more reasons than ever to appreciate childr…
By Lindsay E. Mack

I Used To Judge Formula-Feeding Moms — Until I Became One

The other patrons in the hip Brooklyn restaurant probably couldn’t care less what I was feeding my baby, but I’ll always remember the shame I felt as I quickly mixed up his bottle of formula in front of them. I admitted to my childless friend that I …
By Katherine Martinelli

7 White Lies It’s Necessary To Tell To Keep Your Relationship Healthy

Telling lots of lies typically isn't associated with a healthy, strong, lasting relationship, and that's still certainly true, but not all lies are exactly the same. Though you've probably heard from someone at least once or twice that the lie they t…
By Lauren Schumacker

The Skinny Jeans That Saved Me Postpartum

Accepting my post-pregnancy body is hands-down one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done. It’s something that I still work on every single day. During my first pregnancy, I was 20 years old, so I managed to bounce back quickly. In fact, I dropp…
By Allison Cooper

7 Ways Your Baby Is Trying To Say They Feel Safe

In those first weeks of new motherhood, it can feel like you need an interpreter for your newborn. With their limited means of communication, figuring out what message your baby is trying to get across to you can be a challenge. With time, however, y…
By Kimmie Fink

Here's Why Dogs Are Obsessed With Babies' Poop, According To Science

Most family dogs seem to understand babies, and they're more than happy to make friends with the newest member of the pack. It's adorable... for the most part and until you go to change your little one's diaper. Suddenly, you're wondering why dogs ar…
By Lindsay E. Mack

6 Signs You're Meant To Have A Big Age Gap Between Kids

There's a five year age difference between my two children, to the day. Their age gap wasn't planned but, for a variety of reasons, works well for our family. And since I was so focused on having a second baby, I totally overlooked the signs that wou…
By Candace Ganger

13 Unique (& Totally Not Mainstream) Mother's Day Gifts For The Hipster Mom

Hipsters thrive on being outside the norm and not really digging anything considered "mainstream." Whether it's in their fashion, what music they listen to, the books they read, or how they enjoy beverages, there's just something that makes them dist…
By Abi Berwager Schreier

Here's How To Introduce Your Pet To Your Baby & Make Everything As Calm As Possible

Our home, which we lovingly refer to as “the funny farm,” is filled with four-legged family members. We have two crazy beagles and two cat jerks, and boy are they loved and spoiled. (As they should be.) But we are now finally having a baby of our own…
By Abi Berwager Schreier

Here's The Right Birth Method For You, According To Your Zodiac Sign

If you're pregnant, you've probably given childbirth some serious thought. Some moms-to-be prepare a meticulous birth plan, while others are comfortable just going with the flow. And me? Well, I made a plan... but that plan was useless when faced wit…
By Steph Montgomery

My Dog Knew I Was Pregnant Before My Family Did

Growing up, I was 100 percent sure I'd be a mom one day. To a dog, that is. My baby plans came later. And once my husband and I were sure we wanted both a dog and a baby, we'd add to our joint dog-and-baby name list over Sunday brunch or on date nigh…
By Melissa Mills
)}