Life
Congratulations! After nine or ten annoying months of pregnancy, or months to years of waiting for an adoption to go through, or a sudden accident that unexpectedly grants you sole custody of your nieces and nephew (if this is the movie Raising Helen and you're Kate Hudson; it could happen, people, and we need to be prepared), you are a parent now. Being a parent is a whole new ballgame and, like a ball game, it's mostly fun and exciting. But, also like a ball game, it can be painful, difficult, frustrating, and it leaves you almost no time for sex. (OK, it's not the most elegant metaphor, but point out how it's wrong. You can't.)
Figuring out sex after having a baby, let alone having an orgasm after bringing a baby into your life, is a bit of a sticky wicket. There are a host of reasons why this ends up being difficult or low-priority. But I put it to you, my friends, that orgasms are important. Moreover, they are even more important now that we are moms. An orgasm is the gift you give yourself (or the gift you kindly encourage someone else to give you, or better yet, exchange with you). This shouldn't be an aspect of our happiness and well-being that gets swept off to the side and dismissed as unnecessary. Orgasms are incredibly necessary, now more than ever, and here's why:
You Need More Bang For Your Buck
I'm not saying that you stop having sex once you have kids (more on that in a minute) but you're probably going to be having less, at least for a while. Maybe it's because you don't have as much time anymore. Maybe it's because you're exhausted. Maybe you still have physical birth trauma going on. Maybe you and your partner are going through a rough spot because you're adjusting to your new roles as parents. Maybe the time you've grown accustomed to having sex (say, in the morning) is now occupied with child-rearing duties and that schedule change has throw off your groove. Maybe you don't have as much time to date. Maybe it's because your child was born with the ability to know exactly when you want to bang and she wakes up as soon as you start to get it on. Point is, when you do have sex, you've basically gotta fit in enough orgasmic energy to last you until the next time you manage to have sex.
You Need To Focus On You Sometimes
It's easy to lose yourself in motherhood and to allow the needs of your beloved mini-human to sort of overtake all your personal time, space, and desires. That's why it's important to do something that's entirely for you. So grab your partner (or maybe even better yet for the purposes of "me" time, your vibrator) and hop to it!
I Mean... Have You Had An Orgasm Lately?
Those things are the bee's knees. The first time I had an orgasm (during some...self-exploration, in my youth) I literally thought, "Oh my God, I just invented the best thing ever! I need to do this all the time!" To be honest, not too much has changed. Motherhood may change your life, but orgasms are eternally awesome.
You Need To Fight The Powers That Insist You're No Longer Sexual
There's this bizarre concept out there that once a woman becomes a mother she is no longer a sexual creature. LOLWUT?! Guys. Speaking as a mother, I can assure you that literally nothing about my sex drive or attitudes toward sex have changed since popping out a couple of kids. So, really, having an orgasm when you're a mother is fighting the goddamn power and defying reductive and harmful stereotypes. ORGASMS FOR FEMINISM!