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9 Things All Moms Do When They Have The House To Themselves

Your partner has left for a full day of work and your child is off to school. Or perhaps your partner is enjoying some one-on-one time with your kid and you're enjoying the sweet sound of silence. Either way you've realized that right now, in this moment, you have the house all to yourself. It’s a rare treat, especially for mothers, so it can be difficult to figure out what to do with all that free time. Turns out, there are things all moms do when they’re finally home alone... and you won't hear us apologizing for them anytime soon.

I know I’m fairly lucky to be able to work from home. Not only am I around my child a substantial amount of time, but I get to enjoy solo time a bit more regularly than most moms. That said, that solo time is mainly spent working. If I’m not researching for or writing articles, I’m doing last night’s (OK, maybe last week’s) dishes and catching up on endless piles of laundry. So I think it's safe to say that even a mom's "free time" is spent doing work of some sort.

There are those moments on the weekend, though, when my partner decides to take our son out for the day. Those are the moments when I finally get to let my hair down and do the things that I want to do. And if you’re a mama, you probably know exactly what those things are:

*Finally* Relax

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If I have the house to myself I am going to sit down, turn on the TV or pick up a book, and relax. This is the first time my stress levels have been given a chance to level off in weeks, and I'm not taking that moment for granted.

Any other moment in which I'm encouraged to relax — be it in the bathroom taking a bath or in my room by myself — will ultimately end with my child banging on the door and asking for something.

Beauty Maintenance

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Maybe you like shaving your legs. Maybe a nice sheet mask is more your thing. Or maybe you like to dye your hair once in a while. Either way, these kinds of activities are difficult to start and complete when you have kids in the house. When you’re home alone, though? Well, it's time for some personal grooming.

Masturbate

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Look, parenthood doesn’t always allow for regular coitus. As parens we might have a chance to enjoy a passionate quickie after dropping the kid off at the sitter’s, or in the middle of the night after the kid has finally fallen back asleep, but that's hardly a sufficient amount of sex for many of us. We have needs, and it’s totally cool to take care of those on our own.

So yes, mamas, you might not want to admit it but I know there’s more than just a few of you reaching in those panties when no one’s around. It’s 2018. We should all be masturbating without shame by now.

Take A Nap

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No matter where you are, if you’re a mom and you’re alone you’re going to try to find someplace to sleep. Maybe you’ll take a nice nap couch. Or you might just enjoy taking up your entire King-sized bed all to yourself. Either way, it rocks.

Play With Their Kid’s Toys

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I think non-parents probably assume we do this more often than we actually do. While toys are fun, we get fed up with most of the ones our kids have since they coerce us into playing with them constantly. That said, there is the occasional moment (especially after new toys enter the household, say, around the holidays) that you might happily take advantage of your child’s absence and play with a few of their intriguing toys.

Reorganize Things That Don’t Belong To Them

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I love my partner, but I don’t always love the way he organizes things. Should I stop obnoxiously meddling into his piles of junk and borderline hoarder tendencies? Probably. But sometimes, especially when I’m alone, I can’t help but throw out those receipts from 2003 or do my best to organize his '90s CD collection.

Dance In Their Underwear

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You know that famous scene from Risky Business where Tom Cruise slides into focus and dances in his undies? Yeah, he was probably copying a mom home alone.

Indulge In A Potentially Embarrassing Form Of Exercise

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Look, I’ve tried a lot of different kinds of workouts. I’ve done cardio bootcamp. I’ve worked out with the New York City Ballet (on DVD, anyway). I’ve belly danced and yoga’d and hula hooped and lots of other things, but most of the time I prefer to do it all alone. If you’re the type of mom who also prefers to stay away from prying (and potentially judgmental) eyes while exercising, you might break out the yoga mat when you're home alone, too.

Miss Their Loved Ones

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By the time my family has been gone a few hours (and definitely if they're gone days or even weeks), I really do start to miss them. Even when I’m engrossed in a lengthy teen drama marathon or deep in my fourth hour of Kon-Mari tidying, I'm usually ready to see my partner and child again. I guess absence really can make the heart grow fonder.