Moms are held to an extremely high standard and, sometimes, rightfully so. After all, we want parents to raise good people. It's important to make a distinction between a necessary standard and just plain mom-shaming, though. A culture of shame prevents moms from reaching out for help when they need it, and help is essential when you're trying to raise good people. Sadly, one of these potential shaming situations is when your baby has colic. I know, because I've been there. I also know there are things every mom with a colicky baby thinks, but doesn't say out loud, and I have a sneaky suspicion that shame is a big reason why so many exhausted, sleep-deprived, overwhelmed mothers stay silent.
Nothing is easy when you have a colicky baby. Your ears are constantly besieged with eardrum crushing squeals. Your heart is breaking a million times a day because you can't comfort or calm your baby. You're so sleep deprived you likely can't even see straight, are probably having hallucinations on the regular, and have completely forgotten anything resembling social skills that would allow you to reach out for support. In the throes of newborn life with a colicky baby, I started questioning everything about myself, my worthiness (or lack thereof), and my choice to enter parenthood. After all, and as a mom, the one thing I was supposed to be able to do was comfort my baby. And I couldn't.
Colicky babies make parents question everything, but we're afraid we're the only ones experiencing such hopelessness. So, unfortunately, we keep quiet and keep our questions to ourselves. I say no longer. I'm breaking the silence to share what all of us think, but don't say, when we have a colicky baby: