With the birth of my first child, the uncharted territory of motherhood stretched out endlessly in all directions. I had no idea what a mother-child relationship should be in its nascent stage. While I had a good rapport with my own mom, whom I was lucky to have living close by to help us out with the baby, I didn’t feel secure in my knowledge of how to raise a child. I leaned heavily on my imagination: what did a positive, nurturing experience look like? Mine looked like a world where I heard my newborn say things to me. Maybe it was the sleep deprivation, but I swear I heard my infant utter actual words, mostly in the form of criticism.
In those first few weeks of my daughter’s life, I had no clue and barely any instincts to rely on. I knew I could care for a baby, if we’re talking strictly about survival, but other than depictions of motherhood in the media all my knowledge was in the form of advice, most of it unsolicited. Other mothers’ anecdotes served as the foundation for what I maybe could expect from life with a newborn. And I don’t recall anyone else sharing that they thought they heard their newborn say things to them.
So if you think you’re living in a real-life version of Look Who’s Talking, you are not alone. Here are some things I swear my baby has “said” to me: