It’s hard to lose a baby, but it’s also hard to have another baby afterwards. When I lost my daughter, I didn’t know how to go on living and everything was a long, hard struggle. Not long after I lost her, though, I got pregnant again. As I watched my belly grow, I had so many thoughts running through my mind about my little rainbow. However, and rest assured, I knew there were certain things I didn't expect my rainbow baby to fix for me.
Parents sometimes project a lot of themselves, including their dreams, onto their children. Rainbow babies or not (rainbow babies being the babies that are born after a loss), there will come a time when you’ll try to coax your daughter to become a baseball great, or your son to become a famous singer. We all want success for our kids, sure, but we should allow them to make their own decisions and carve their own paths towards whatever success, to them, looks like.
The same goes for parents who sometimes see kids as a way to remedy what’s wrong in their lives. Children are many things, but a cure all they are not. So, in my opinion, it’s important to remember not to put so much pressure or responsibility on rainbow babies . It’s not up to them to make everything better for those of us who have suffered a loss. Instead, it’s up to us to make sure they are happy, healthy, and cared for. With that in mind, here's what I didn't, and won't, expect my precious rainbow baby to fix for me. Ever.