Sometimes I think there's a chance I'm a "cool" mom even though that's not even on my list of goals as a mother. Then I look at my daughter's stroller and realize it's literally covered in dried banana and a layer of crushed animal crackers and there's a selection of random, brightly colored toys in the basket below. Meanwhile, my daughter is chewing on a stick she picked up at the playground. Collectively, I'm pretty sure those things ban me from being a "cool" mom. The good news, though, is that there are at least nine things I'd rather be than a "cool" mom.
I've been trying to think about what a "cool" mom actually is, and what I've come up with is actually a list of things I achieve occasionally but really don't have the time, energy, or interest to fully commit to on even a semi-regular basis. I can't be dressed in trendy clothes all the time, and neither will my daughter. Every time I try to put on makeup with my daughter around, she insists on playing with the brushes and 30 minutes later we're still playing in the bathroom. I won't have all the coolest baby gear or toys, and my kid is not going to be enrolled in all of the most perfectly educational classes. Whether it's down to finances, interest, or energy, being the "cool" mom just isn't something I'm willing or able to commit to.
Luckily, there's a whole list of things I'd rather commit to than being the "cool" mom. Honestly, I think my kids will be just fine — if not better off — because of it!
The "Happy" Mom
I think often about how I want my daughter to remember me from her younger years. At 18 months, she's still in the zone where most of what I do she won't remember, but that means I still have time to weed out those things I really don't want her to remember, like when I'd lose my mind picking up more shredded toilet paper from the living room floor.
I'd much rather be remembered as a happy mom, and the kind of mom who just seems delighted to be around her kid as much as humanly possible.
The "Cozy" Mom
I want to be the snuggly mom whose kids run to her for comfort or call her for a pep talk when they're feeling down or scared or lonely. I want to be the kind of mom who drops what she's doing to talk through insecurities and who can empathize with those insecurities.
The "Silly" Mom
I'm pretty sure the silly mom is in direct opposition to the "cool" mom. But I'd still rather be the silly one, rolling on the floor and giggling with my daughter instead of worrying about curling her hair (no offense, I just really have no skills in the hair department and it would take me forever to perfect) or ordering the best baby toy that's just been released.. I'd rather my daughter remembers me as being goofy and relaxed with her, even if I don't look so cool in the process.
A Mom To Happy Kids
Maybe cool mom's kids are really happy, too, and I hope they are. But maybe cool mom's kids feel a little neglected or intimidated by her coolness. I'd rather be a mom to happy kids who aren't feeling pressure to look cool or keep their trendy "cool kid clothes" clean at the playground.
I would totally sacrifice being a "cool" mom for being on time to anything ever. Can you imagine how much later I'd be to everything if I had to worry about also being "cool" every time I left the house? I'd never get invited to any playdates or mom groups anymore.
I mean, if you were giving me the choice, I would totally choose being a dorky millionaire mom than a "cool" mom.
I'm not not healthy, but gosh is it something I value much more for myself and my family than being a "cool" mom.
Getting More Sleep
The way I see it, being a "cool" mom must take more time and so much more energy than being just the mom I am (which is cool enough for me anyway), and that time could be much better spent sleeping. Being a normal mom is exhausting as it is, so being a "cool" mom sounds more exhausting and more time consuming than I'm probably able to handle. More sleep for me, please.
Drinking Wine With My Non-Cool-Mom Friends
Instead of being a "cool" mom, I would prefer to be drinking wine with my non-cool-mom friends, preferably in a non-pretentious wine bar with a great cheese board.