I Saw My Partner Differently After I Gave Birth

Even though my spouse and I were together for quite some time before we had our first baby, and though I had plenty of notice that our relationship would change after said baby arrived, I still couldn’t predict all the ways I saw my partner differently after I gave birth.

I’m going to try not to make this a lovey-dovey ode to my partner, I really am. However, for context, we’ve been together for more than 12 years, and even before we were an item,I crushed hard on him for what felt like eons (like, so hard that my friends staged interventions). Yet, it all worked out and here we are, years after we met in a very "college" way (that may or may not have involved red solo cups) currently navigating the trials and tribulations of parenthood.

I joked during my first pregnancy that one of the things I was most excited for was seeing my husband wear our son (well, that, and seeing our baby in a tiny hat with animal ears on top, but I digress), so it’s not like I was totally unaware there was a transformation on the horizon for us both. Still, even the inkling of change couldn't have prepared me or helped me adequately predict just how it would all play out.

He Became A Superhero, Able To Function On Little To No Sleep

Not all heroes wear capes right? Some wear wrinkled shirts and pajama pants and have excellent bedhead. Seriously though, I don't doubt that there were days when my husband was just as tired as I was, but he managed to pull himself together and get up and get our baby whatever he needed, before I even managed to open my eyes.

He Became The Voice Of Reason, When I Was Too Hormonal To Think Clearly

If I'm being completely honest, he's usually the voice of reason regardless of the situation. However, it was especially helpful in those early days when my body was still healing and I was still getting used to this newborn crying next to me. Plus, between the three of us, it was nice to have at least one of us not crying when we stood in the baby bottle aisle at our local big box store

He Became The Most Attractive Human Being To Ever Hold A Baby, Ever, In The History Of Time

I know there are lots of people who look attractive when they're holding babies, and I'm definitely not trying to get into any arguments here. All I'm saying is that I personally think there's no one you ever look better, and I'm including Ryan Gosling, people. That said, if someone has any pictures of Ryan Gosling holding a baby, please feel free to still send them my way because he's a close second.

He Became The Most Attractive Human Being To Wear A Baby, Ever, In The History Of Time

Not that I'm super into beauty pageants or anything, but if I were to ever post or sponsor or create a male beauty pageant, there would be a section where the men would have to wear babies, and it would probably be the highest weighted section (followed by the question and answer portion, focusing on great feminists of the past and present).

He Became More Vulnerable

I mean, there's something about watching your partner watch their baby sleep that makes your heart burst with love and affection for both of them. If only I had more arms for snuggling them both at the same time.

He Became Less Hygienic

I don't mean this in a gross way, I just mean that the regular routines we had for showers and basic self care went out the window. I actually don't recall him ever entering a state of "grossness" but, then again, I also happen to like when he sports a disheveled look, so I'm probably not the best judge of that.

He Became Braver

To be fair, I did deliver a baby so I know I deserve some credit. However, at the risk of offering TMI, let’s just say he was pretty hands-on and involved in the whole process. I was both grateful for him and impressed by him, since I'm not sure I would have been able to do the same way if the situation were flipped.

He Became Somewhat Of A Mind Reader

I can recall my spouse helping me in ways I didn't even know I needed help. He offered to do things I didn't have the time, energy, or desire to do, and he displayed the patience of a preschool teacher because I, at times, felt about as equipped to handle myself as I think our toddler feels regularly.

He Became The Ultimate Source Of Calm And Reassurance

Not that I think he should go be with every woman in labor, but if every woman had someone like him with her while she was in labor, the world would probably be a better place. He showed faith in me, and made me feel strong and capable. I'm not exactly looking forward to going through labor again, but I'm very glad he's planning to be with me a second time.