To be honest, I haven't regularly read my horoscope in years. I mean, the position of the stars can't determine your personality or fate, can it? When I recently read mine it was spot on, though, and the description of my Zodiac sign? Totally accurate, too. So I decided to look at my mom life through the lens of my astrological profile. It's like the stars know me, you guys, especially in regards to how I managed maternity leave. What if the same is true for others? Can you predict how you'll handle maternity leave, based on your Zodiac sign? Considering how unpredictable postpartum life can be, I'd say it's worth a shot.
If you're a Scorpio, you might be the type of mom who will stay calm and collected in almost any circumstance (even those involving poop). If you're a Pisces, well, I don't know how to tell you this (because Pisces are known to be super sensitive to criticism,) but you are probably terrified of doing something wrong. Don't worry, everyone makes mistakes, and I'm not judging you, my dear friend. As long as you don't judge me, because it will probably make me cry. After all, I'm a Cancer, which means I am an emotional hot mess who cries whenever I get overwhelmed, frustrated, angry, sad, or happy. So yeah, I pretty much cry all the damn time.
The good news is that no matter what your Zodiac sign, you can learn how to play to your strengths and minimize your weaknesses to rock new motherhood and kick maternity leave straight in the ass. What does maternity leave have in store for you? Read on to find out:
Capricorn (December 22 — January 19)
According to Astrology Zodiac Signs, people with this sign are responsible and disciplined, which can make them pretty unforgiving. You are the new mom who will fill your freezer with enough meals for three months and will try to get their baby on a set routine as soon as humanly possible.
My advice: If your new routine is working? Great! But if not? Well, let's just say that you should give yourself the time, space, and grace to figure out new parenthood. The good news is that Capricorns are quick learners, so you will get there. In the meantime, cut yourself some slack and enjoy the ride.
Aquarius (January 20 — February 18)
People born under the sign of Aquarius hate being bored, so it's best to plan ahead for maternity leave by filling your Netflix queue with all of your favorite shows.
My advice: Don't take it personally when Netflix asks you if you are still watching Grey's Anatomy. When you are ready, schedule some playdates and visitors to keep your spirits up and make sure things stay interesting (in a good way).
Pisces (February 19 — March 20)
According to Astrology Zodiac Signs, people born under the sign of Pisces are compassionate and gentle, which means they can rock the hell out of motherhood. It also means they have a tendency to be fearful, which might make it hard to trust themselves with this new mom gig. Pisces love sleeping and loathe being alone, which can make maternity leave seem really isolating.
My advice: Find ways to get out of the freaking house. You can do it, and if you are not up to it just yet, invite a trusted mom friend over for some conversation. However, because Pisces hate being criticized, you might want to avoid mom groups on Facebook like the plague.
Aries (March 21 — April 19)
According to Astrology Zodiac Signs, Aries are passionate, enthusiastic, and determined. Aries new moms are likely to jump in with both feet and with confidence, which is awesome. However, they also have a tendency to be impatient and aggressive, which means you might have to take some deep breaths to avoid losing your sh*t when your baby is crying or won't sleep.
My advice: Remember that you can do it, because you know you can. You're an Aries after all.
Taurus (April 20 — May 20)
So Tauruses have a tendency to be stubborn, which sounds like a bad thing, unless it comes to maternity leave. You are going to do this thing no matter what, and once you figure it out, you are bound to try to stick with the same routine every damn day.
My advice: Tauruses have more patience than any other sign, which is key to a successful maternity leave (and parenting in general). Try to be more flexible with your baby and yourself, though. Your patience will pay off if you can learn to go with the flow.
Gemini (May 21 — June 20)
According to Astrology Zodiac Signs, Geminis have dual personalities. Their tendency to be gentle, affectionate, and adaptable makes them great parents. But they hate, I mean hate routines, which is fine when you have a baby who is different every day.
My advice: Plan short trips to the store, gym (when you're ready), or park to break up the monotony and feed your inner Gemini.
Cancer (June 21 — July 22)
So yeah, I am a Cancer, so I was completely not surprised to learn that we are emotional, sensitive, and intuitive. That means we are masters at snuggling and expert "baby cry interpreters." It also means that we cry. A lot. While it's not atypical to cry during maternity leave, remember that overwhelming sadness may be postpartum depression and require some medical intervention.
My advice: Take care of your damn self, get help when you need it, and under no circumstances should you watch This Is Us during maternity leave. Don't do it. Trust me.
Leo (July 23 — August 22)
According to Astrology Zodiac Signs, Leos are creative, passionate, and have a great sense of humor, which is so important for new motherhood. But, here's the thing, they also have a tendency to be inflexible, arrogant, and have difficulty facing reality, which can mean thinking you are right at all costs.
My advice: Admit that you might not know everything, and when you mess up (and you will mess up), try to laugh it off. Laughing is way better than crying.
Virgo (August 23 — September 22)
Virgos are kind and practical, which might mean your maternity leave will be pretty low-key and easy. They also loathe asking for help, though. Girl, you have to get over than before your baby gets here. Seriously.
My advice: If you can't do it alone, and you can't, you need to get help. Believe me, I've been there. Take other people up on their offers for support, especially those that involve getting a shower or some damn sleep.
Libra (September 23 — October 22)
According to Astrology Zodiac Signs, Libras are both indecisive and absolutely hate being alone. They also have a tendency to wallow in self-pity, which is a dangerous trap when you're postpartum and emotional.
My advice: Get out of the house and feed your need to be around other people. And for goodness sake, stop being so hard on yourself. Make up your damn mind and go for it. You've got this.
Scorpio (October 23 — November 21)
Scorpios — like my husband and oldest son — are passionate, determined, and calm, which means that they are committed to figuring out how to be the best parent they can be and can stay calm when things go wrong. However, they are also super jealous and distrusting, so they might just not want to let anyone else hold their baby. Like, ever.
My advice: Remember that it's OK to take a break, set the baby down, and let other people hold them. You can do it.
Sagittarius (November 22 — December 21)
According to Astrology Zodiac Signs, Sagittarius-born people have a tendency to be an impatient bunch, so when the baby just won't sleep or you can't figure out why they are crying or what they need, it might seem overwhelming and frustrating. The good news is, when things become difficult, enjoying some outside time can be the ticket to calm and clarity.
My advice: When things get rough, get some fresh air and exercise.
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